Tags
Animal House, Democrats, Donald Trump, Drag Queens, Gavin Newsom, gender, George Floyd, God, inflation, joe biden, Kamala Harris, Klingons, License To Kill, Mark Milley, Monty Python, Portland, recession, Soylent Wendy's, Trans, Ukrainian Javelin Team, Winsome Sears
I think she’s been asking that since the Inauguration. Somehow, I don’t think God gives a damn…
Thanks for clearing that up…
It was inevitable…
He did that…
We know, we know…
They do everything else on the sidewalk there, so why not?
I hear it set a new record…
Talk about an inexhaustible oil source…
Modern military strategy…
Maybe if he’d give Russia the coordinates of his house…
And they’re just the guys to do it…
Those Republicans are sneaky that way…
Government–particularly the Chinese–is sneaky that way…
Damn! I’ve been robbed too!
The Klingons are sneaky that way…
The Ukrainians are sneaky that way…
Well, that answers some questions…
So does that…
And that…
And that…
You have to get it where you can find it…
Only one?
‘Tis but a flesh wound…
Yum…
That and classified employment sections…
They’re bold that way…
God is really sneaky that way…
And in the just because it’s ridiculously cute department…
Awwwwww.
If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. If you’re interested in how the police get it wrong, there is no better primer.
If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition. Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too. Go here to comment.
And now, more humor from Richard Lederer’s classic book The Revenge Of Anguished English, which is a collection of accidentally funny things people have written. This week, various bloopers:
“In an essay a student wrote, ‘in 1957 Eugene O’Neill won a Pullet Surprise.’”
“Many gas stations equipped with snack stores display the sign: ‘Eat here and get gas.’”
“During the course of a Gemini flight broadcast, Frank McGee of NBC News reported: ‘I have just learned that we do have the film of the astronaut’s breakfast, which should be coming up shortly.’”
A letter from a bank explained, The adoption of the bank’s new name requires no action on your part. Just continue using your present checks and other forms until exhausted.’”
“On the Joey Bishop Show, Joey asked Sen. Barry Goldwater if he would like to be on the show twice a week. The Senator answered. ‘I’d much rather watch you in bed with my wife.’”
These days we need humor more than ever. I’ll see you next Sunday, and I hope, every other day too!
Stately McDaniel Manor 
It is a recession when your neighbor loses his job.
It is a depression when you lose your job.
It is a recovery when the Democrats and RINOs in public office all lose their jobs.
Dear Tom:
An oldie, but a goodie.
God does not assign gender at birth. He assigns sex, of which there are two. Gender is a made-up human construct describing human sexual behavior. As we all know, the range of sick human behavior is as close to infinite as we’re going to get, but we also know there are two sexes. You either have this, or you have that. The tide comes in, the tide goes out. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. These are all immutable facts. Acknowledging them is not mean you are mean, hostile, or hateful. It means you live in the real world.
Funny thing about the “black people with weapons” meme, it describes perfectly what happened, except of course the first gun control measures in the United States were not instituted by the Republicans. The first gun control measures were instituted by the Jim Crow Party in order to protect Jim Crow and disarm the black Americans the Republicans had just liberated. If we had an opposition party it would shout this truth, and many others, from the mountaintops. We really need to form an opposition party.
And Winsome Sears’ acceptance speech ranks up there with the Gettysburg Address as far as I’m concerned.
nypost[dot]com/2021/11/03/ex-marine-winsome-sears-electrifying-virginia-victory-speech/
Dear Foggytrucker:
What you said.