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AR-15, CIA, Covid, Defund the police, Donald Trump, Faux Farci, G7, joe biden, Kamala Harris, masking, mostly peaceful protests, Presidential presence, racism, Royals, SNL, Topless, Toshiro Mifune, UFOs, women have vaginas
The all-time classic. So is this…
This isn’t too bad either…
In the Biden Administration?! Nope.
What a change an election makes…
See? There is justice in the universe…
And then again, maybe not…
And just in time for summer…
Pretty much all the time…
Definitely all the time…
Whoever did this is worthy of a medal…
Yeah, I’m that old too…sigh…
Didn’t the Chinese buy this one? And his son?
And not just the British…
So’s the glass. So’s everything…
Pro tip of the week…
Pro tip of the millennium…
Shut up, you racist science denier…
So that’s how they’re doing it…
Yup…
It’s Greek to me…
Well, those are not just any duckies…
Is this a trick question?
I think this is pretty much the definition of treason…
This too…
Unfortunately, our enemies get the prizes…
Film at 11?
But what flavor was the ice cream?
How can you tell?
Cleared?! This is a death penalty offense!
SCIENCE!!!
Best advice I’ve seen in years…
And in the just because it’s really cute department…
One of the things I miss about teaching is no longer collecting gems of unintentional humor from the writings of my students. For your amusement, here are a few more from the past:
An actual school announcement: “Will the cheerleader see Mrs. Smith in her room yesterday?”
“At one point in the book Huck and Jim sit on their raft naked. This calls for maturity and some reasoning.”
“I think the music in class had very understandable problems. Just like in country music.”
“That’s what I like about reading: there is no thinking involved.”
“At my sixth birthday I got a drum set and I have been playing it every since. I played in church for five years and loved it. I am still playing the drums as I speak.”
If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. It’s not funny, but there are some things, and some people, everyone should know.
If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition, which won’t be so good for…you know. Remember, gentle readers, the fundamental American right to ruthlessly mock self-important dimwits, like Congress, Fauci, Biden, Harris, The Squad, Jen Psaki, Google, Twitter, the CIA, the FBI, Disney, Coca Cola and Facebook. Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too. Go here to comment.
The Funnies will be back next Sunday, and I hope to see you here every day.
Stately McDaniel Manor 
You made my morning with this post.
I remember way back in the 90’s an article on high school metaphors used in a English exam, it had me laughing my arse off. I’m going to try and find it again just to laugh.
Dear mickmart21:
Be sure to share…
“I’m so old that I can remember when most of the people promoting race hate were white.”
Thomas Sowell
Good stuff. Funny.
Dear Phil Strawn:
Thanks!
Realist: “The glass is too big.” =^[.]^=
A few things:-
– There is some cultural barrier stuff. I don’t follow what the “nailed it” one is getting at.
– The traditional third option for the glass with water one is, the engineer thinks the glass is too big.
– The Dick one reminds of how a certain Andy Dick campaigned for a high school election using posters that read “Don’t Vote For A Jock, Vote For A. Dick”. The Powers That Be were unable to ban this use of his own name.
– The Carbis Bay one may be rigged; internal evidence (the position of the beach booths) suggests that the 1925 photograph may have been near high tide.
– The Turks one is wrong. Although most of those in Asia Minor do indeed have mixed ancestry because of the sort of interbreeding that follows the extirpation or enslaving of one group by another (as in Iceland), that just makes the Turks mostly Armenian. Of course, a lot of Armenian got into the Greeks in Asia Minor that way too, and I’m using “Armenian” in a generic way that takes in ancestors of that ethnicity but not that culture, too.
– Shouldn’t that mother of two crack read “cleared of miss conduct” or “cleared of Ms conduct”?
– Actually, breathing oxygen kills or maims in certain circumstances (it can blind people in oxygen tents for long periods), and is invariably fatal to certain lower forms of life. There may be a joke at certain groups’ expense brewing here…
– The last photograph reminds me of this: “Why do Methodists disapprove of premarital sex? Because it can lead to dancing”.
Here are some traditional schoolboy howlers:-
– “An epistle is a small apostle”
– “Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a thirty foot clipper”.
– “The poor Irish had rough mating in huts”.
– “Le peuple emu repondit a Marat” (sadly, I can’t get the accents on some of those letters) was translated from the French as “the purple emu laid an egg for Marat” (it actually means, roughly, “the people, emotionally moved, replied to Marat”).
And I did hear these two British Rail announcements myself:-
– “British Rail regrets the delay to the [such and such] service. This was due to a fatality at Paddock Wood which has since been rectified”.
– “This is the [such and such] service to Leeds, and may God bless you and keep you”.
I also don’t see the humour in buying that book.
Dear P.M.Lawrence:
There are indeed cultural barriers to humor. Regarding “License To Kill,” It’s my blog, so I get to advertise my book from time to time. As I noted, it’s not humorous.