Oh, this is just too good. Back in 2014, I wrote Icebreaker Irony, which was, well, very ironic. Here’s a sample:
Every now and again, a story comes along so filled with ironic goodness that I spend days chuckling whenever I think of it, and particularly, whenever I think of the intellectual energy the smug, effete, intellectual twits involved expended to deny and spin the obvious. In this case, the intellectual firepower involved surely is of the refrigerator bulb wattage variety.
You’ve heard of the ship stuck in the Antarctic–the MV Akademik Schokalskiy–and the unsuccessful attempts of Chinese and French icebreakers to reach her? What a tragedy…but hey, what was that ship doing so far out in the Antarctic this time of year anyway? Are you ready for this? Sit down…
The ship is full of climate scientists and assorted supportive greenies on a mission to prove global warming due to melting Antarctic ice. I’m not kidding. Surprising that the media hasn’t mentioned that…
That’s right: greenies and global warming Nazis seeking melting polar ice caps are stuck in polar ice that is unusually robust and thick. Shouldn’t that be added to all dictionary definitions of ‘irony?”
But that’s not the most ironic part of that particular ship of fools. The Chinese tried to rescue them, and their icebreaker got stuck in the ice that wasn’t supposed to be there, so the Australians and the Chinese had to ask The US to rescue everybody. Imagine all the fossil fuel used! I bet that melted some ice from the white-hot rage of the involved greenies alone.
Well, at least the greenies, as a whole, have apparently learned something, or at least the Canadian version have, courtesy of Brietbart:
A global warming research study in Canada has been cancelled because of ‘unprecedented’ thick summer ice.
Naturally, the scientist in charge has blamed it on ‘climate change.’
According to Vice:
‘The study, entitled BaySys, is a $17-million four-year-long program headed by the University of Manitoba. It was planning to conduct the third leg of its research by sending 40 scientists from five Canadian universities out into the Bay on the Canadian Research Icebreaker CCGS Amundsen to study ‘contributions of climate change and regulation on the Hudson Bay system.’
But it had to be cancelled because the scientists’ icebreaker was required by the Canadian Coast Guard for a rather more urgent purpose – rescuing fishing boats and supply ships which had got stuck in the ‘unprecedented ice conditions.’
‘It became clear to me very quickly that these weren’t just heavy ice conditions, these were unprecedented ice conditions,’ Dr. David Barber, the lead scientist on the study, told VICE. ‘We were finding thick multi-year sea ice floes which on level ice were five metres thick… it was much, much thicker and much, much heavier than anything you would expect at that latitude and at that time of year.’
Clearly not one to let a crisis go to waste, Barber seized the opportunity to perform the usual alarmist clown dance for the media, explaining why this incident definitely shows that global warming is a major problem and deserving of our urgent attention.
He told Vice:
‘It was clear it was from the Arctic, I just needed to be among the ice to see it,’ said Dr. Barber. ‘What was also clear to me was that climate change has caused this event to happen.’
Warming to his theme, he told Global News:
‘This is climate change fully in action – affecting our ability to make use of marine resources and transport things.’
‘This is a wake-up call for all of us in the country.
Let me see, gentle readers, if I understand this. After all, it’s very scientific and all, and I’m just a garden variety denier of something or other, I’m sure. Dr. Barber, who “needed to be among the ice”–perhaps he identifies as ice? Would that be LGBTQWERTY and “I”?–thinks “climate change” is causing ice in the Arctic? I think I have that right… And these ice conditions were unprecedented! There has never been thick ice like this up there–in the Arctic–before! And of course, this is all caused by “global warming,” which is “a major problem and deserving of our urgent attention.” OK Dr. Barber; I’ll help you publicize it. It’s all rather a shame too, because plenty of ice identifying scientists were going to spend plenty of money on this one, as UManitoba.ca tell us:
This regrettably postpones the much-anticipated Hudson Bay System Study (BaySys) involving 40 scientists from five universities across Canada. Timing was key for this $17 million, four-year, University of Manitoba-led project.
Dr. Barber and his team of experts were able to use the state-of-the-art equipment onboard the Amundsen to confirm that a significant proportion of the sea ice present originated from the high Arctic.
He noted that, “Climate-related changes in Arctic sea ice not only reduce its extent and thickness but also increase its mobility meaning that ice conditions are likely to become more variable and severe conditions such as these will occur more often.”
The Sea Ice Research Team collected a comprehensive dataset on the physics of the ice, ocean and atmosphere in the area and these data will contribute to the understanding of these events and assist Canada in preparing for climate change driven increases in marine ice hazards.
Here are the results of the comprehensive dataset:
Ice: Really thick and icy, and unprecedented.
Ocean: Really wet and cold.
Atmosphere: Oxygen mix; really cold.
Using that valuable data, Dr. Barber was able to determine:
The research of our scientists clearly indicate that climate change is not something that is going to happen in the future – it is already here. Research results from scientists onboard the Amundsen and innovative Networks like ArcticNet show the impacts of climate change in Canada’s Arctic and Arctic Ocean affect not only northern ecosystems and communities, but also the environments and people living in the south of Canada – as so dramatically seen off the coast of Newfoundland.
The provision of the best information possible is essential for proper planning, decision–making and adaptation to the realities of climate change.
This experience, and climate change conditions currently affecting Churchill, Man., clearly illustrates that Canada is ill prepared to deal with the realities of climate change.
Wait a minute: it’s here now, but it’s not going to happen in the future? We’re saved! Whew! That was a close one.
But why are they still worried? Oh…I get it. If there can be ice in the Arctic, really thick and unprecedented ice, there can be future climate change, and global warming too, which causes ice, and not ice, and hurricanes and a lack of hurricanes, and just about everything else too, or a lack of it. That darned climate: changing all the time, and never for the better, always for the worst. It’s a wonder the planet still exists.
I’m just confused about one thing: the Canadians have always been pretty good about dealing with changes in the weather, and handling things like ice and all that. Have they somehow forgotten how to do that, and if so, is that unprecedented too? And wouldn’t the Canadians, at least part of the year, enjoy a little Canadian warming? You know: more crops, sunny weather?
I know: I’m a hopeless denier.