Every now and again, a story comes along so filled with ironic goodness that I spend days chuckling whenever I think of it, and particularly, whenever I think of the intellectual energy the smug, effete, intellectual twits involved expended to deny and spin the obvious. In this case, the intellectual firepower involved surely is of the refrigerator bulb wattage variety.
You’ve heard of the ship stuck in the Antarctic–the MV Akademik Schokalskiy–and the unsuccessful attempts of Chinese and French icebreakers to reach her? What a tragedy…but hey, what was that ship doing so far out in the Antarctic this time of year anyway? Are you ready for this? Sit down…
The ship is full of climate scientists and assorted supportive greenies on a mission to prove global warming due to melting Antarctic ice. I’m not kidding. Surprising that the media hasn’t mentioned that…
That’s right: greenies and global warming Nazis seeking melting polar ice caps are stuck in polar ice that is unusually robust and thick. Shouldn’t that be added to all dictionary definitions of “irony?”
They went in search evidence of the world’s melting ice caps, but instead a team of climate scientists have been forced to abandon their mission … because the Antarctic ice is thicker than usual at this time of year.
The scientists have been stuck aboard the stricken MV Akademik Schokalskiy since Christmas Day, with repeated sea rescue attempts being abandoned as icebreaking ships failed to reach them.
Now that effort has been ditched, with experts admitting the ice is just too thick. Instead the crew have built an icy helipad, with plans afoot to rescue the 74-strong team by helicopter.
This expedition appears to be a case of the dense leading the naïve:
The expedition is being lead by Chris Turney, a climate scientist, who was hoping to reach the base camp of Douglas Mawson, one of the most famous Antarctic explorers, and repeat observations done by him in 1912 to see what impact climate change had made.
It is thought that the group, which includes scientific researchers and a journalist, will now be able to escape by air after two sea rescues failed.
Australian icebreaker Aurora Australis was unable to reach them because it was not strong enough to break through.
A top-of-the-range Chinese icebreaker, the Snow Dragon (‘Xue Long’), was deployed earlier in the week, and hoped to reach the ship by saturday.
However just after midnight on Friday it too got stuck just six nautical miles from the ship.
But surely things will go their way? After all, the polar ice caps are melting; all the climate computer models have predicted it:
We all know that there’s a possibility of this becoming quite a protracted sit and wait,’ said Andrew Peacock, a passenger onboard the Akademik Shokalskiy, speaking via satellite phone.
‘I think people are just looking at that next step when that second icebreaker arrives.
‘We really are just hoping that the two powerful icebreaker ships will provide the breakage of ice that we need.’
However, he said the ice floes appear to have built up dramatically overnight.
They are also continuing their research while stranded by testing the temperature of the surrounding ice sheets.
Don’t tell me; let me guess: the ice sheets are below freezing?
I’m sure regular readers are aware of “The Gore Effect.” Virtually whenever former VP Al Gore shows up for a “major speech” on global warming, there is a blizzard that shuts down the entire area. That kind of spin and denial of reality are very much in evidence in the Antarctic as well:
The leader of a scientific expedition whose ship remains stranded in Antarctic ice says the team, which set out to prove climate change, is ‘stuck in our own experiment.’
But Chris Turney, a professor of climate change at Australia’s University of New South Wales, said it was ‘silly’ to suggest he and 73 others aboard the MV Akademic Shokalskiy were trapped in ice they’d sought to prove had melted. He remained adamant that sea ice is melting, even as the boat remained trapped in frozen seas.
‘We’re stuck in our own experiment,’ the Australasian Antarctic Expedition said in a statement. We came to Antarctica to study how one of the biggest icebergs in the world has altered the system by trapping ice. We … are now ourselves trapped by ice surrounding our ship.
‘Sea ice is disappearing due to climate change, but here ice is building up,’ the Australasian Antarctic Expedition said in a statement.
Well of course! It’s silly to think they’re stuck in ice! That ice is melting! They’re just “…trapped by ice surrounding our ship,” which is some other ice, not the melting ice they know is melting, but some non-melting ice, like, you know, freezing ice that is frozen, unlike the melting ice they haven’t quite found, you know–melted–during their “experiment.”
Turney–who is supposedly a scientist (snigger)–has an even better explanation:
Turney later told FoxNews.com the ice surrounding his ship is old, rather than recently formed, and likely from a particular 75 mile-long iceberg that broke apart three years ago. Climate change may have prompted the iceberg to shatter and float into the previously open sea where the mostly Australian team finds itself stranded, Turney said.
‘The ice was swept across to this area by the South-East wind, its pieces creating a knock-on domino effect,’ Turney told FoxNews.com, speaking from a tent erected on the stranded ship’s top deck. ‘We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Well, sure. This isn’t the melting ice they’ve been looking not to find. This is some other ice, like a particular iceberg–probably named “Bob”–that is like really old, so of course, it couldn’t have melted because old ice stays icy forever, unlike the melted ice they’re looking for. I’m sure once they check the serial number of Bob–er, the iceberg–they’ll clear it all up. And of course, there is the “knock-on domino effect,” which, as you know, is predicted by all the computer climate models, except that it isn’t, and doesn’t actually appear in any of the scientific literature, except now it will, right next to the “We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time” effect.
Newsbusters explains that the Lamestream media has done its best to avoid the obvious:
Somewhere far, far to the south where it is summer, a group of global warming scientists are trapped in the Antarctic ice. If you missed the irony of that situation, it is because much of the mainstream media has glossed over that rather inconvenient bit of hilarity. As an example here is an Associated Press story that avoids mentioning the real mission of the scientists aboard the icebound Russian ship:
“The Snow Dragon icebreaker came within 7 miles (11 kilometers) of the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy, which has been stuck since Christmas Eve, but had to retreat after the ice became too thick, said expedition spokesman Alvin Stone.
The Akademik Shokalskiy, which has been on a research expedition to Antarctica, got stuck Tuesday after a blizzard’s whipping winds pushed the sea ice around the ship, freezing it in place. The ship wasn’t in danger of sinking, and there are weeks’ worth of supplies for the 74 scientists, tourists and crew on board, but the vessel cannot move.
So what was the exact mission of these scientists? AP is rather vague about this reporting only:
The scientific team on board the research ship — which left New Zealand on Nov. 28 — had been recreating Australian explorer Douglas Mawson’s century-old voyage to Antarctica when it became trapped. They plan to continue their expedition after they are freed, expedition leader Chris Turney said.
So. A bunch of global warming “scientists” and their hangers-on, out to prove the polar ice caps are melting, get stuck in a polar ice cap that isn’t the same ice they’re looking for. And they used a fossil-fueled vessel to get stuck, and several fossil-fueled vessels are trying–unsuccessfully–to rescue them because the melting ice that should be there isn’t actually, you know, melting. So they’ll have to be rescued by fossil-fueled helicopters.
No irony here, nope. Just global warming scientists and greenies caught in their own experiment and domino effect. Nothing to see–or laugh at–here. Move along. Move along.
UPDATE: 01-04-14, 1700, CST: You just can’t make this stuff up. The passengers of the ironically ill-fated global warming expedition have been rescued via helicopter from a Chinese icebreaker that previously tried but failed to reach their stranded ship. And of course, the Chinese icebreaker is now stuck in the ice that isn’t supposed to be there, because it’s already melted, you see.
The non-existent ice-stranded global warming scientists and their hangers-on have been transferred to an Australian icebreaker whose captain was smart enough not to get stuck in melted ice (non-ice?), and that ship is now hanging around in open waters (melted ice) to assist in the rescue of the Chinese (stuck in non-ice).
At “National Review Online,” Deroy Murdock provides some scientific reality the melted ice seekers might have found useful before becoming scientific laughingstocks. And in a bit of mild irony, America’s only active heavy ice breaker, the Coast Guard’s Polar Star, has been asked by the Russian, Chinese and Australian governments to rescue, well, pretty much everybody.