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Selfies: weapons of mass distraction. If a Republican did this… 

A befuddled President Biden casually maligned the Irish while botching his wife’s family history during a gaffe-filled appearance in Delaware on Friday.

“Befuddled.”  Is there any other kind of President Biden?

‘I may be Irish, but I’m not stupid,’ Biden inexplicably said as he greeted 102-year-old World War II veteran Ray Firmani during a town hall on veterans’ benefits in New Castle, Del.

‘I married Dominic Giacoppa’s daughter,’ Biden continued. ‘So, you know, I got a little Italian in me now, you know?’

Was that a sex joke, Joe?

The audience of military veterans and federal officials received the off-script comments in puzzled silence — but critics on Twitter took comic umbrage at the ethnic slur.

No Joe, you’re stupid, and increasingly demented.  Joe sees dead people: 

President Joe Biden shared a story Friday of conversations he had with his father and uncle when he was elected vice president, although both were dead at the time he claimed he had the exchanges.

The president made remarks about his family history during a town hall event for veterans in Delaware.

Ah, the wonders of Photoshop:

Gee, Joe looks awfully young here. Must be the winter air…

Chris D. Jackson is a former DNC chairman. Now gaze upon the original photo, compared with the photoshopped result:

With Obama, it was putting halos around his head, nose uplifted. With Biden, it’s trying to make him look a little less like a desiccated mummy.

Border? What Border? 

The White House argued Monday that the southern border is not open despite thousands of migrants crossing into the United States in recent days.

‘It would be wrong to think that the border is open. It’s not open, and I just want to be very, very clear about that,’ White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted.

Who you gonna believe, your own lyin’ eyes, or KJP?  It’s true: our government is actually trying to encourage China to seize Taiwan: 

The Marine Corps has been advised that its drill instructors should no longer be referred to by gendered terms like ‘ma’am’ or ‘sir’ — an idea that a top training leader has pushed back on.

The recommendation came in a recently completed academic report from the University of Pittsburgh that the Corps commissioned in 2020, according to Marine Corps Times.

I can see it now: recruits barking back at DIs, “Ze, yes Ze!”

It’s not my fault!

Vice President Kamala Harris blamed Republicans for the border crisis during an interview with NPR on Monday and said they were unwilling to engage on the issue.

‘And sadly, what we have seen in particular, I am sad to say, from Republicans in Congress is an unwillingness to engage in any meaningful reform that could actually fix a lot of what we are witnessing,’ Harris told NPR.

And what would that “meaningful reform” constitute?

‘I think that there is so much that needs to happen to address the issue,’ she told the outlet before adding, ‘Reform of our immigration system can only happen through Congress in terms of the passage of an immigration bill that allows for a legal pathway to citizenship and a legal presence in the country.’

Riiiiight. “Reform” means instead of ignoring immigration law, eliminating it entirely. And isn’t she admitting they’re all here illegally?

Disney isn’t gay and generally perverse enough yet?!

In the past year alone, the Walt Disney Co. fought Florida over its anti-grooming Parental Rights in Education law, created multiple transgender characters for its children’s shows, put gay characters at the center of its big-budget movies, and even launched an LGBTQ-themed apparel line.

And still, Disney isn’t gay enough for the folks at GLAAD.

With Republican “leaders” like this, we don’t need D/S/Cs:

Former House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) became choked up on Wednesday as he spoke about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) at a ceremony for the unveiling of Pelosi’s speaker’s portrait.

Boehner, who is known for crying, was speaking during the event about his and his family’s appreciation for Pelosi, whom he succeeded in 2011, when Boehner became tearful.

I mean, who wouldn’t be choked up praising a woman who has done so much to America?  The NHL continues to win hearts and minds:

A viral video of a male hockey player leaving a female player concussed after knocking her to the ice at a transgender hockey tournament has sparked outrage and prompted the event organizers to clarify the NHL’s ties to the tournament.

The NHL made headlines last week when they tweeted their support for the All-Trans Draft Tournament in Middleton, Wisconsin. The tournament featured teams composed of biological males who identify as women and biological females who identify as men, all playing against each other. Naturally, however, putting males and females together on the ice and asking them to play a contact sport is inherently dangerous and, well, insane.

I mean really, what do Americans love more than seeing hulking men giving tiny women concussions?  The NHL really has their plan for long-term profitability dialed in!  Yippi Ky Yay, they/them! 

credit: cowboy state daily

Western ranch wear has taken hold of New York City and other urban areas as high fashion thanks to the hit TV show ‘Yellowstone.’

And to some Wyomingites, that’s silly.

The New York Post on Monday published a story entitled ‘How ‘Yellowstone’ Won Over NYC Fashion: ‘I Want To Be In Wyoming’ featuring New York City residents clicking along the sidewalk in designer cowboy boots.

Now being sold by high-end designers for hundreds or thousands of dollars per garment, the clothing trend is known as ‘Westerncore.’

One fashion model said ‘Everyone’s like, ‘I live in New York City, but mentally I want to be in Wyoming on a ranch.’

Sure, you do.

In Texas, that’s called “all hat, no cattle.” In Wyoming, folks just snicker.

Science! 

In a surprise to absolutely no one, scientists have discovered that literally smearing testosterone onto the skin of young straight dudes makes them unbelievably horny.

I wonder how much that “research” cost?  I’m sure this is Republican’s fault too:

The only time police can pursue a vehicle is if they suspect impaired driving or have established probable cause — a much higher standard than reasonable suspicion – that the driver committed a violent crime, sex offense, or are an escaped felon. In cases where this standard is met, they must still determine whether a chase outweighs the risk to the public should their pursuit cause an accident.

There’s little doubt that this law has directly led to the recent surges in car theft and quick robberies where the criminal can quickly drive away, knowing even if an officer happens to arrive in time, they can’t chase. [skip]

The Tacoma News Tribune reports that State Senate Joe Nguyen (D-West Seattle) is sponsoring a bill to ‘end low-level traffic stops for expired tabs, broken tail lights and similar violations that don’t have safety ramifications.’ In partnership with the anti-cop Washington Coalition for Police Accountability (WCPA), Nguyen is pushing a dangerous claim that cops pose risks to black and Latino drivers. Per the TNT, the WCPA claims this bill would ‘reduce disproportionate impacts on communities of color and low-income people.’

It certainly reduces any possibility of the police catching criminals. Why any sane person still lives in Oregon remains a mystery.

This one is so stupid it requires a bit of fisking. Did you know people who aren’t Covid vaccinated have character defects that make them dangerous to everyone in sight? It’s the science! 

Coronavirus disease (COVID) vaccine hesitancy is a reflection of psychology that might also contribute to traffic safety. We tested whether COVID vaccination was associated with the risks of a traffic crash.

Most people die in bed, so mattresses are deadly.

[O]ur data do not explore potential causes of vaccine hesitancy or risky driving. One possibility relates to a distrust of government or belief in freedom that contributes to both vaccination preferences and increased traffic risks.

Uh-oh. Believing in freedom causes traffic accidents!

A different explanation might be misconceptions of everyday risks, faith in natural protection, antipathy toward regulation, chronic poverty, exposure to misinformation…

Or the obvious explanation these “scientists” are leftist drones determined to uphold a narrative the nation has already rejected.

 …insufficient resources, or other personal beliefs. Alternative factors could include political identity, negative past experiences, limited health literacy, or social networks that lead to misgivings around public health guidelines.

Golly! Why would anyone have “misgivings around public health guidelines?”

The observed risks are sufficiently large that paramedics, emergency staff, and other first responders should be aware that unvaccinated patients are overrepresented in the aftermath of a traffic crash. The observed risks might also justify changes to driver insurance policies in the future. Together, the findings suggest that unvaccinated adults need to be careful indoors with other people and outside with surrounding traffic.

 Riiiiight!  Most people dying of Covid these days are vaccinated, but it’s people who refused the jab who are dangerous indoors and outdoors, because who but raving lunatics would refuse to listen to “public health guidelines?”

Terrorists would never exploit anything like this; that would be unwoke:   

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has spent a whopping $18.6 million on the development, testing and deployment of ‘non-binary screening systems’ intended to make transgender people feel more comfortable, it was reported Thursday.

The funding from the FY22 Omnibus Appropriations fund, the Biden administration’s annual government spending budget, has been spent on putting Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) units in airports across the country in order to achieve ‘increased accuracy and efficiency’ for customers.

 The systems will roll out at airports next month, although those who say their gender was incorrectly assumed by the machines have the option to ask for re-screening instead of receiving a physical pat-down.

Of course, because we have an absolute moral obligation to do whatever any mentally disturbed person says, even if it lets them carry explosives onto airliners. 

I’m sure it was just an understandable oversight, you know, a simple math error, because, you know, math is racist:

The Bureau of Labor Statistics overestimated the number of jobs added nationwide from March through June by roughly 10,600%, the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia reported Tuesday.

The U.S. added just 10,500 net new jobs in the second quarter of 2022, a far cry from the 1,121,500 estimated by the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ (BLS) monthly report on state-level data known as the Current Employment Situation (CES), according to the Philadelphia Fed. By using more comprehensive data from the BLS Quarterly Census of Employment and Wages (QCEW), which samples roughly 11 million businesses compared to the 670,000 measured by the monthly CES, the Philadelphia Fed is able to make revisions to initial employment estimates, the regional bank reported.

“Overestimated.”  They really do think we’re stupid. And of course, the lie was pushed before the election.  Of course they are: 

S&W 686 .357 Magnum Revolver

Warm days are contributing to gun violence surge across the US, says study of 100 cities

by  Boston University

Suuuuure. It’s not letting criminals run wild, preventing the police from stopping and frisking them, preventing the police from catching them, and defunding the police and driving those that remain out of the job, no. It’s warmer days. It’s climate change!   And, by the way, this appears on a medical website, presented as medical research.

And what made you think entitled athletes are intelligent, mature or in full control of their impulses?

Oh, this is good, and expected: 

Two recruits with the New York City Police Department (NYPD) were reportedly suspended Friday after being caught in a compromising situation.

According to the New York Post, fellow recruits spotted the pair allegedly having sex in a bathroom stall at the department’s training academy in Queens, the outlet reported Saturday.

Hmmm. You don’t suppose this has anything to do with driving qualified cops out, and lowering hiring standards, because qualified people don’t want to do the job anymore, do you?  In any case, who better to be police officers than people who can’t keep it in their pants?  Oh, this is good: 

Last month, President Biden declared that all American coal plants would be shut down and replaced with wind and solar. Now the president is going after coal-fired electrical generation in other countries as well.

At the U.S.-Africa Leaders Summit last week, Biden announced $8 billion in funding to South Africa to help the country replace its coal plants with renewable energy sources.

‘The man is determined to bring down civilization, blaming the gas of life for global ruination. Insane and criminal to boot,’ Patrick Moore, Greenpeace co-founder and director of the CO2 Coalition, said on Twitter.

And this is the responsibility of American taxpayers because…?

Peak stupid of the week: 

Perhaps you’ve seen the story on the Wall Street Journal editorial page today (or in some other outlet where it is booming this morning) about Stanford University’s ‘Elimination of Harmful Language Initiative,’ which reads like a parody of our idiotic woke university culture today. But no—Stanford employed a task force that worked for months to advocate that no one on campus use the word “’American’ because ‘This term often refers to people from the United States only, thereby insinuating that the US is the most important country in the Americas. . .’

It gets worse from there. The Journal highlights and comments aptly:

‘Gangbusters” is banned because the index says it “invokes the notion of police action against ‘gangs’ in a positive light, which may have racial undertones.’ Not to beat a dead horse (a phrase that the index says ‘normalizes violence against animals’), but you used to have to get a graduate degree in the humanities to write something that stupid.

There are no words. Really. At Stanford, soon, there will be no words.

OK, OK, maybe this one is this week’s peak stupid: 

Alternative headlines: ‘Great Artillery Aim’ and ‘Now He Wants It Out?’

An 88-year-old French man somehow walked into a hospital with a WWI artillery shell sticking out of his keister. The unfired round is eight inches long and more than two inches wide.

Talk about sexual fireworks (I’m so ashamed of myself)…

Oh, there’s even more stupid:

As spectacularly stupid as this story is, the Journal arguably buried the lede, which is this sentence appearing near the end: ‘For 16,937 students, Stanford lists 2,288 faculty and 15,750 administrative staff.’

That’s more than one teacher and/or faculty member per student. Gee, I wonder why tuition is so high?

Uh-huh. That’s our number one priority? Does McConnell know which party and which country he supposedly represents?

That’s right, gentle readers: Britons are having to spend most of their time in libraries and other public buildings–“warm banks”–because they can’t afford to heat their homes. Coming to a country near you.

 Well good!  Congress is appropriating $410 million border security? Oh… 

The $1.7 trillion year-end omnibus spending bill uses hundreds of millions of dollars of American taxpayer money to fund border security initiatives overseas as the United States, at its own border, is projected to set illegal immigration records next year.

The spending bill includes $410 million ‘for enhanced border security’ in Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, Tunisia, and Oman. At least $150 million of the funding is to be used to help Jordan secure its borders.

Surely Republicans aren’t for this? Shut up, you xenophobes, and don’t call me Shirley:

The hundreds of millions of dollars for border security thousands of miles away from the U.S. comes after Republicans and Democrats negotiated a similar plan in March that saw about $370 million go to border security initiatives in the Middle East and North Africa.

Thank goodness our southern border is secure! The government says so.

Hmmm. I think when Congress singles out a citizen like this—they’re releasing six years of Donald Trump’s taxes–the Constitution has something to say about it. Ah yes. Here it is: Article I, Section 9, Clause 3:

No bill of attainder or ex post facto law shall be passed.

I’m sure the IRS or Congress would never release my tax documents, or yours…right? That would be wrong! Why, that would encourage people not to file taxes. I mean, this doesn’t constitute a precedent or anything, does it?

Just to demonstrate, a few days before Christmas, 2022, not everything is stupid:

Yes gentle readers, everyone who has ever attacked Clarence Thomas is likely stupid–too stupid to survive.