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“We have the best government money can buy.”   Mark Twain  His gun handling was impressive, but this goes far beyond the call of duty…

Well, they got that immediately right…

They attack in pairs…

So that’s why it’s not selling…

Amazing how that happens…

That too, but it only lasted a few hours…

Yeah, it’s very revolutionary…

Where would any edition of the Funnies be without AOC (or the Babylon Bee)—hey, that’s a double rhyme!

She just can’t stop digging…

The zinger of the decade…

I expected a bigger container…

“Partial?”

So can at least half of America…

They have abortion video games?

Cognitive dissonance…

I hear they used Pete Buttigieg as a model…

Yeah, but the border is more so…

Priorities…

I don’t want to even think about this…

Priorities…

But CLIMATE CHANGE!

I miss Texas…

See why?

Every free state needs these…

Every free state has these…

Every man needs one—or more—of these…

National security…

And in the just because it’s insanely cute department…

Double awwwww….

If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. It’s not funny, but there are some things, and some people, everyone should know.  I hope you don’t mind my plugging my book every Sunday, but I don’t have a major publisher promoting it—no multi-million dollar Jill Biden advances for me–and it really is a good book.

If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition.  Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too.  Go here to comment.

And now, more humor from Richard Lederer’s classic book Anguished English, which is a collection of accidentally funny things people have written.  This week, accidental translations:

“At the climxs of John F. Kennedy’s impassioned speech in 1963 at the Berlin Wall, the president had wanted to say, ‘Ich bin Berliner’—‘I am a Berliner!’—since in German words for nationalities are not preceded by articles.  What Kennedy actually said was, ‘Ich bin ein Berliner!’—‘I am a jelly doughnut.’” 

“During a tour of Poland, President Jimmy Carter attempted to convey the message ‘I have a strong desire to know the Polish people.’  Through an inept translator the message emerges as ‘I desire the Polish people carnally.’”

“When Pepsi-Cola invaded the huge Chinese market, the product’s slogan ‘Come alive with the Pepsi generation,’ was rendered into Chinese as ‘Pepsi brings back your dead ancestors.’”

“While in Frankfurt, I once asked a German storekeeper for a ‘heisser hund’—literally ‘a hot dog.’  He burst out laughing as ‘heisser hund’ in German suggests a dog in heat.”

“In the offices of a Roman doctor: ‘Specialist in women and other diseases.’”

These days we need humor more than ever.  I’ll see you next Sunday, and I hope, every other day too!