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Satire: when one exaggerates the words and actions of others, or tells the truth about them.  Of course, some organizations satirize themselves:

“Study: Half of US Doesn’t Trust FBI”

Only half?!  Could this help explain?

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) nearly tripled their unconstitutional warrantless searches of Americans year-over-year from 2020 to 2021, from 1.3 million warrantless searches to 3.4 million.

Actually, he paid $750 thousand for the GT.  Maybe D/S/Cs are right.  Maybe the wrong people do have all the money, or maybe it’s just this guy.  And just in time to save us all:

Maybe “adults” in an alternate dimension? 

And who says the media is shilling for Biden? These guys:

The “science” is settled:

‘There is no argument among medical professionals – pediatricians, pediatric endocrinologists, adolescent medicine physicians, adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, etc. – about the value and the importance of gender-affirming care,’ Levine told NPR.

According to definitions laid out in a fact sheet from Levine’s Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) in March, ‘gender-affirming care’ includes social affirmation at any age, puberty blockers during puberty and hormone therapy starting during early adolescence. Irreversible surgery is ‘typically used in adulthood or case-by-case basis in adolescence,’ according to the agency.

 Oh, so he/she/whatever talked to them all?  Every single medical professional is a deranged leftist anxious to mutilate children?  To be fair, I’m sure that’s true in their “reality.”  Yes.  Yes it is:

During a speech given on Thursday, the president announced a new $33 billion spending package to provide more aid to Ukraine in its war with Russia.

When Biden began talking about holding corrupt Russian oligarch’s responsible for their actions, he made a major verbal stumble that broke Twitter.

He said, ‘I’m also sending to Congress a comprehensive package of that will enhance our underlying effort to accommodate the Russian oligarchs and make sure we take their – take their ill begotten gains. We’re going to accommodate them. We’re going to seize their yachts, their luxury homes and all their ill-begotten gains of Putin’s kleptocri- k- yeah, kleptocracy- klep- — the guys who are the kleptocracies. Ha. Ha. Ha. But these are bad guys.’

He also said this:Ah, so all the religions have no real position; it’s just “a question” to them.  He’s supposedly a devout Catholic.  I seem to recall something or other about the Catholic Church saying life begins at conception.  It’s a “catechism” or something:

During the entire life of the abortion controversy post-Roe, Biden was in the Senate, and then vice president, and then ostensible president. It is inconceivable that during all those decades, he never learned that the Catholic Church teaches that ‘human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person – among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.’

The Catechism of the Catholic Church adds: ‘Since the first century the Church has affirmed the moral evil of every procured abortion. This teaching has not changed and remains unchangeable. Direct abortion, that is to say abortion willed either as an end or a means, is gravely contrary to the moral law: You shall not kill the embryo by abortion and shall not cause the newborn to perish.’

Yeah that catechism–you know, the thing.  And in the “we love Trofim Lysenko” department:

‘Never let a crisis go to waste,’ U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) Chief Samantha Power told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on “This Week.”

Speaking of the global consequences of Russia’s war with Ukraine, the Biden official said that fertilizer shortages would provide farmers the opportunity to ‘hasten’ their ‘transition’ from fertilizer to more ‘natural’ resources.

Yeah, because that worked so well for Sri Lanka, whose President banned chemical fertilizers mandating only “organic” farming.  As a result, its economy is in the toilet, and there are massive food shortages.  Lysenko, by the way, was a favorite “scientist” of Stalin’s whose bizarre ideas about agriculture caused the starvation deaths of millions.

They really do want to regress civilization millennia.  You know: the good old days when the climate never changed.  Your education dollars at work:

A viral video from Libs of TikTok on Twitter appears to show a trans-inclusive biology teacher in a Department of Education training video saying ovaries make eggs, as opposed to women.

The guy—Sam Long—is—surprise!—“trans.”

A lot of textbooks, a lot of existing teaching will say, well, women produce eggs. Males are more likely to be color-blind. The mother carries the fetus for this many months. And some ways that we can show our support for trans and non-binary students just to clean up that language, be more precise.

We can be more accurate and be more inclusive. So I would say, no, it’s not women that produce eggs. It’s ovaries that produce eggs. That’s accurate, that’s precise. We’re acknowledging that not all women produce eggs and also, not all egg producers are women, for example.

Actually, he ‘s right.  Some of those “producers” are birds and reptiles, and many of the latter serve in Congress.  We’re led by the best and brightest.  And the most woke:

Disney has lost about 1/4 of its valuation thus far.  I’m sure shareholders are delighted.  Here’s your new commissar of The Ministry of Truth, comrades:

Still waiting for a video of a “pregnant person,” other than a woman, giving birth.

Still waiting for a video of a “non-binary person,” other than a woman, giving birth.

What?  Calling a former President a “horrible plague” isn’t uniting the country?  How about this, then?

Over at CNN, a far-left propaganda outlet that spreads conspiracy theories and political violence, a recent piece of ‘analysis’ headlined: ‘Biden confronts a host of problems he can’t do much to solve’ floated this nonsense…

‘There’s not much [Biden] can do to curb inflation.

There’s not much he can do to stop migrants from reaching America’s southern border. Or to reduce crime, or to make vaccine resisters get shots that would hasten the end of the coronavirus pandemic.’

Well, other than causing those problems, and having the power to largely or completely end them, no, he can’t do much.

According to Disney, Ron DeSantis is mean and he can’t force them to have to do business like every other Florida corporation, because:

In a public statement posted to the website of the Municipal Securities Rulemaking Board on April 21, Reedy Creek quoted a statute that says Florida ‘will not limit or alter the rights of the District…until all such bonds together with interest thereon…are fully met and discharged.’

‘In light of the State of Florida’s pledge to the District’s bondholders, Reedy Creek expects to explore its options while continuing its present operations, including levying and collecting its ad valorem taxes and collecting its utility revenues, paying debt service on its ad valorem tax bonds and utility revenue bonds, complying with its bond covenants and operating and maintaining its properties,’ the statement continues.

They seem to be forgetting DeSantis is the governor, the legislature is overwhelmingly Republican, and they can change any law they like.  DeSantis has since made it clear Disney is going to pay all its obligations.  Stupid.  And speaking of stupid:

President Joe Biden made another rhetorical blunder in a speech at the White House Monday, claiming there had never been a senator from the state of Delaware.

 ‘There have not been many senators from Delaware. It’s a small state. As a matter of fact, there’s never been one,’ Biden said.

Biden was a Delaware senator for 36 years. To be fair, he did say this:  

Former Vice President Joe Biden gave a virtual address to the United States Conference of Mayors on Saturday in which he said he ‘got to the Senate 180 years ago’—after which he briefly chuckled.

That’s why I’ve made it a priority in my entire career to work closely with you from the time I got to the Senate 180 years ago,’ Biden said.

No, he wasn’t kidding.  Neither is he:

Original photo credit: brobible.com

‘We are certainly right now in this country out of the pandemic phase,’ Fauci said in an interview with PBS Newshour. ‘Namely, we don’t have 900,000 new infections a day and tens and tens and tens of thousands of hospitalizations and thousands of deaths. We are at a low level right now.’

And the next day:

He said the ‘pandemic phase’ was over but what he meant was the “fulminant phase” of the pandemic, in which cases and hospitalizations skyrocket in a matter of weeks, was over.

And of course, our nation’s foremost infectious disease expert clarified things, by saying Covid is sooooo not over.

We know she’s an expert because she’s about to be on MSNBC.  More evidence of the best and brightest, or at least the most deceptive:

Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas on Thursday failed to name a case of domestic terrorism that his department has referred to the Department of Justice.

Rep. Greg Steube, R-Fla., pressed Mayorkas for data on any referrals he has made to the DOJ on the grounds of domestic terrorism. Mayorkas did not offer the data, saying he would provide it after the hearing.

So white supremacy is the greatest threat to America, yet the Homeland Security honcho can’t recall a single case of a white supremacist referred to the DOJ for prosecution for–you know–white supremacing?  Mayorkas did not provide any data later.  Once again, evidence the demand for white supremacy far exceeds the supply, and in this case, Mayorkas couldn’t even manufacture any.  Joe certainly isn’t suffering from dementia, no:

When you’re — these are some of the — the Recovery Act was about $900 billion and the President used to always — President Obama used to like to always kid with me when he did the State of the Union message. He’d never tell me what he was going to say because I presided over the — the joint session as Vice President. And when we — it was a big gamble to decide we were going to spend $900 billion trying to get the economy back on its feet.

And the President said, ‘And, by the way, we’re going to make sure I’m turning it over to Joe.’ And he started calling me ‘Sheriff Joe.’ Well, the first thing I did was go to Earl Devaney and other inspectors general and said, “Look, we’re going to need a lot of work here.”

Because, look, the one thing I’ve learned — and you did when you were the mayor — and — is that people expect us to do what we say, and they don’t always get what they expect from elected officials.

But we do get plenty of ghost-written books:

 The American people are decidedly disinclined to pay $26 for a book about the life of President Joe Biden’s primary caretaker. Politico reports that a recently published biography of Dr. Jill Biden, Ed.D, sold just 250 copies in its first week of circulation

Following on that great success:

First Lady Jill Biden is the new face of U.S. diplomacy. This was confirmed Monday with the news she will head to eastern Europe later this week on a solo diplomatic mission for the White House, following in the footsteps of House Leader Nancy Pelosi who met with Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky on Saturday.

What, Blinken and the rest of the State Department dimwits haven’t done enough damage?  Golly, I just can’t imagine why young Americans don’t want to join the military:   

During his recent testimony before Congress, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas informed lawmakers that the Biden administration was considering diverting resources from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to deal with Biden’s border debacle. This includes not just funding but also VA nurses and doctors who are tasked with caring for America’s veterans, and who may now be sent to care for illegal immigrants.

What’s next?  Presenting each illegal with a new, free, electric vehicle?  This is why math is racist:

Skipping past the discussion of the DHS ‘disinformation board,’….. While appearing on an ironically named CNN broadcast ‘The State of Our Union’, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas tells John King’s ex-wife, that for several months (‘since Sept 2021’) DHS has been preparing to start handling and processing 18,000 illegal aliens per day (540,000/mo) as soon as CDC Title 42 is lifted.

If DHS estimates are accurate, between now and the November mid-term election, DHS will import an additional 3,000,000 illegal aliens from various nations around the world, through the U.S-Mexico border.

This is the guy who said—repeatedly–the border is not wide open, and testified before Congress the border is completely under “operational control.”  Well yeah, operational control of drug cartels, terrorist, human traffickers and our nation-state enemies…  Here’s another best and brightest:

This is not a trick question: how do we know this poll is stupid?

Answer: Democrat results were greater than zero.  And speaking of zero:

Secretary of State Antony Blinken told lawmakers late last week that the United States will not stop Russia from cashing in on a $10 billion contract to build out portions of Iran’s nuclear infrastructure.

Blinken, in testimony before the House Foreign Affairs Committee, confirmed for the first time publicly that the Biden administration will not stand in the way of Russia-Iran nuclear cooperation. Rep. Darrell Issa (R., Calif.) asked Blinken to provide assurances that sanctions on both Iran and Russia remain in place as long as Moscow continues its unprovoked war in Ukraine.

If our “leaders” were trying to aid our deadliest enemies to destroy America, what, other than using nuclear weapons against red states, would they be doing differently?

Too stupid to survive.