Tags
Al Gore, AOC, avian Cuisinart, BLM, Chuck Norris, Corn Pop, Disney, Donald Trump's hair, FBI, Florida, joe biden, Kamala Harris, non-biologist to Supreme Court, rats, Ron DeSantis, Russia, Star Trek, What's a woman?, Will Smith
Well, he’s certainly a “bad dude.” When he was born, it was Chuck who was in labor:
Yeah, that’s about par for 2022…
Accurate campaign graphics department…
And I thought I used extra light gauge strings…
Shortly after the photo was taken, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground…
Shortly after the photo was taken, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground…
No technology known can fix that…
No, I don’t think she does…
Or maybe Seattle…
I always knew they were smart…
Cuisinart, avian version…
BLM a scam? What would make you say that?
FBI a scam? What would make you say that?
D/S/C Party a criminal enterprise? What would make you say that?
Yeah, but is she a woman?
No kidding…
And this surprises you because…?
Finally, D/S/Cs admitting walls really are effective…
But teachers aren’t sexualizing children, no sir…
He gets mail that says: “you may already be a weiner”…
And she walked ten miles to school every day, over broken glass, uphill both ways, naked, in a blizzard…
It’s DeSantis’ fault…
So is this…
That’s going too far…
But CLIMATE CHANGE!!!!
What would any edition of the Sunday Funnies be without AOC (Hey! That rhymes!)
That would increase Oscar viewership…
And in the just because it’s ridiculously cute department….
Awwwwwwww!
If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. It’s not funny, but there are some things, and some people, everyone should know. I hope you don’t mind my plugging my book every Sunday, but I don’t have a major publisher promoting it—no multi-million dollar Obama advances for me–and it really is a good book.
If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition. Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too. Go here to comment.
And now, more humor from Richard Lederer’s classic book Anguished English, which is a collection of accidentally funny things people have written. This week, badly translated signs from foreign lands:
In a Tokyo Hotel: “Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.”
In another Japanese hotel room: “Please to bathe inside the tub.”
In a Bucharest hotel elevator: “The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.”
In a Leipzig elevator: “Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.”
In a Paris hotel elevator: “Please leave your values at the front desk.”
In a Yugoslavian hotel: “The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: “Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.”
These days we need humor more than ever. I’ll see you next Sunday, and I hope, every day in between!
Stately McDaniel Manor 
Are you sure that Paris hotel sign isn’t actually correctly translated?
Dear Maoz: With the French (gallic shrug), who can say.