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It was inevitable.  So was this…

Wait, you’re not suggesting D/S/Cs aren’t sincere and consistent, are you?

Apparently she was assured there would be no math…

Poetic license?

Well, in California, Illinois, New York, Portland and DC, sure…

Oooo.  This is a tough one…

So is this…

Is that why we started wearing clothing?

This one isn’t tough at all…

Well, there’s a reason for that…

Somewhere, Helen Reddy is weeping… 

Then they too can become one of the most brilliant legal minds in America…

Crush your enemies, see dem driven before you, and hear da lamentations of da…uh, of da…uh…

Definitely too dumb to come in out of the rain…

Well, this will cut down on party favor costs…

I think I saw that episode…

Well, that is the primary qualification…

Here’s the reason…

If looks could kill…

Don’t you love the looks on those troop’s faces…

I think it’s in the Constitution somewhere, maybe in the emanations of the penumbras…

Nah, I’m gonna ask…

No!  Don’t hold his ice cream!

I know I saw this episode…

Uh-oh…

And in the just because it’s cute department…

Awwwwwwww!

If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. It’s not funny, but there are some things, and some people, everyone should know.  I hope you don’t mind my plugging my book every Sunday, but I don’t have a major publisher promoting it—no multi-million dollar Obama advances for me–and it really is a good book.

If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition.  Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too.  Go here to comment.

And now, more humor from Richard Lederer’s classic book Anguished English, which is a collection of accidentally funny things people have written.  This week, more inadvertently funny student writings:

“Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress.  The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers.  Many people died and many babies were born.  Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.” 

“One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea.  Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps.  During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls.  The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing.  Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis.”

“Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.  Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.  Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm.  He invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, ‘A horse divided against itself cannot stand.’  Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.”

“George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country.  His farewell address was Mount Vernon.”

“Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility.  Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.”

“Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.  He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.”

 These days we need humor more than ever.  I’ll see you next Sunday, and I hope, every day in between!