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If you can’t take a joke…

And now USA Today, the nation’s biggest newspaper, is at it again. On Tuesday, the paper posted a fact-check of the Bee’s recent piece saying that President Joe Biden sold Alaska back to Russia. [skip]

The ‘news’ was clearly a joke — as anyone with any sense understood.

But USA Today wasn’t sure people were smart enough to see through the Bee’s nefarious ‘reporting.’

So the paper ran a fact-check to make sure everybody understood: ‘There is no evidence Biden said he plans to sell Alaska.’

Is there anyone on Earth—apart from USA Today–that doesn’t understand the Babylon Bee writes satire?  Is there anyone on Earth that doesn’t understand Nancy Pelosi is a senile drunk?

Speaking at the House Democratic Issues Conference, Nancy Pelosi told the audience that Biden’s Build Back Better agenda won’t add to either inflation or the national debt (despite already having done that).

‘So when we’re having this discussion, it’s important to dispel some of those who say, well, ‘Is the government spending – ’ no, it isn’t. The government spending is doing the exact reverse, reducing the national debt. It is not inflationary,’ she said.

Well of course!  Spending trillions we don’t have and printing obscene amounts of Monopoly money reduces the national debt and reverses inflation, just like high new and used car prices cause inflation.  They really do think we’re stupid.  Here’s another example:

Perhaps in an alternate reality…

To be fair, he probably can’t remember what he said or where he was five minutes ago.  Actually keeping a campaign promise?  Has to be the dementia.

Sure, buy a $70,000 dollar EV—Tesla raised its prices twice in the last week—to save $500.  These people have no idea where electricity comes from.  To them, it’s magic: they blather, issue executive mandates and legislate and electricity in unlimited amounts magically appears.

Yes.  They’re doing it on purpose.

That’s OK Joe.  We’re sick of you and your lies about your policies, which are  actually the cause of inflation.

I don’t want to hear another damned word about LGBTQWERTY not trying to groom children or not having a malicious agenda.

Nope.  I can’t understand why Americans distrust and hate the media.  I do understand why they hate Biden and all of his minions:

The Marine Corps has now separated more than 1,000 Marines due to refusal to get vaccinated against COVID-19.

The Marine Corps separated 165 Marines over the past week due to their refusal to get vaccinated against COVID-19. At 1,038, the Marine Corps leads the military branches for the most separations.

The Navy comes in second with a total of 469 separations, which includes 50 this past week. Of the separations this week, 24 had served for more than six years, while 26 served for less than six years. The highest rank was chief petty officer, said Lt. Travis Callaghan, spokesperson for chief of naval personnel, in an email.

The Air Force has separated 205 active-duty airmen, according to its weekly update. The Army has not yet separated a soldier.

OK, so we’re getting rid of many of our most experienced, dedicated military members, but the remaining few will be oh-so-woke.  And speak of Oh-so-woke, how are things in the Nation’s Capital?

The rat problem in D.C. is so bad, two people got hantavirus

A report released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, DC health officials ratted out the first two known cases of hantavirus spillover in the city. The virus festers quietly in rats and other rodent populations, but in humans it can cause potentially deadly respiratory and hemorrhagic diseases. Humans pick up the infection by direct contact with rodent urine or nest dust or by breathing in aerosolized viral particles from urine, droppings, or saliva. There’s also the possibility that the virus can spread from rat bites, but this is less common. Once in a human, the virus almost never jumps from human to human.

In that case our congresscritters and federal bureaucrats are safe, being themselves rodents.  And speaking of…

On Thursday, Harris tweeted, ‘Let’s send the Equality Act to President Biden’s desk. We must increase protections for LGBTQ+ Americans across the country. The onslaught of state bills targeting transgender Americans and their families is wrong.’

The Equality Act purports to expand civil rights protections to the LGBTQetc. community but in actuality will destroy women’s rights by codifying allowing men to play women’s sports and potentially could target free speech by classifying ‘misgendering’ someone as discrimination. [skip]

Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) also chimed in, tweeting, ‘America: inflation is screwing us, our border is lawless, and there’s a ground war in Europe. Kamala: we need to get men in women’s sports asap.’

‘Meanwhile Ukraine is burning and Putin’s army is rampaging across Europe. The Biden presidency is living in the Twilight Zone,’ tweeted foreign policy analyst Nile Gardiner, a former aide to Margaret Thatcher.

Even as the world burns and a nuclear war looms, Democrats think LGBTQ issues trump everything else. The Biden administration is beyond parody.

But not beyond destroying America.  One heartbeat away:

I can’t imagine what our allies are thinking listening to this dimwit:

Actually, yes I can, and it’s: “shit! We’re on our own!”  Just how dumb is the Biden Administration?  This dumb:

Useful Idiot

Case in point: In response to a question about John Bolton’s bizarre speculation that Trump might have pulled the United States out of NATO in a second term, Psaki claimed that the American people are ‘grateful’ for Biden’s different approach to foreign relations.

‘Well, I think that’s […] you know, another reason why the American people are grateful — the majority of the American people — that President Biden has not taken a page out of his predecessor’s playbook as it relates to global engagement and global leadership,’ she said. ‘Because, certainly, we could be in a different place.’

How grateful?  This grateful:

Actually 69% of Americans now say America is going in the wrong direction under Biden.  Keep in mind Trump made noises about NATO as prelude to getting them to actually contribute 2% of their GDP on defense, as none of them were doing.  There is no sane reason to think he would have done as Bolton suggested.

Psaki made her stunning comment the same day that Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg admitted that the administration would consider buying oil from terrorists instead of increasing domestic production, and on the heels of Psaki inadvertently admitting that Putin tends to invade other countries when Democrats are in the White House.

Psaki is lying.  Oil companies buy many leases, but only a small portion have economically useful oil.  A lease is only the beginning of a long process requiring various permissions and tons of paperwork from various federal and state agencies.  Or she’s merely stupid—like Kamala Harris:

Vice President Kamala Harris criticized the levels of pollution caused by heavy trucks on the same day a group of patriotic truckers circled Washington, DC.

‘Pollution from heavy-duty trucks and buses has made the air poisonous to breathe and this pollution is also, of course, accelerating the climate crises,’ Harris said during a speech near the White House on Monday. ‘Threatening the future not just of our communities, but of the entire world.’

She also shared her dream to get rid of all diesel powered trucks and buses and replace them with electric powered vehicles.

‘Imagine a future: The freight trucks that deliver bread and milk to our grocery store shelves and the buses that take children to school and parents to work…. Imagine that they produced zero emissions,’ she said.

As I keep noting, these people think electricity comes from fairy dust and unicorn farts.  They refuse to build nuclear plants, so from where, pray tell, is all the electricity necessary to power this utopian future going to come?  As far as electric busses and tractor-trailers go, take this link to an article that discusses the realities of electric busses.  In brief: they’re a total disaster.  It is no coincidence there are no electric semis on the road.  EV technology and semis are entirely incompatible.  Here’s something else entirely incompatible with reality:

Take high gas prices for example. So many of us peons worry about the skyrocketing price of gas at the pump, but America’s brilliant Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg has a fix for gas prices that’s so easy it’s almost ridiculous. Why, you just need to buy an electric vehicle, you silly goose.

‘Clean transportation can bring significant cost savings for the American people as well,’ Buttigieg said in a speech. ‘Last month, we announced a $5 billion investment to build out a nationwide electric vehicle charging network so that people from rural to suburban to urban communities can all benefit from the gas savings of driving an EV.’

Right.  These are the people who scream not everyone can be expected to obtain photo ID to vote, and they want everyone to rush out and buy a $50-$70 thousand dollar EV.  Five billion in chargers isn’t going to matter if there aren’t enough unicorn farts and fairy dust to power them.  And speaking of incompatible with reality:

On Saturday, the Oregon Health Equity Taskforce announced that a bill declaring racism a public health crisis in the state passed through both legislative chambers and is heading to Governor Kate Brown’s desk for a signature.

The bill states that the Oregon Health Authority shall create an advisory committee that will provide guidance on ‘establishing, funding and operating a pilot program to improve the health outcomes of Oregonians impacted by racism by providing grants to one or more entities to operate two culturally and linguistically specific mobile health units in this state,’ with the membership to this committee consisting of individuals from priority populations, public health and healthcare professionals, and at least 51 percent of the committee with decision-making authority be members of these priority populations.

HB 4052 ‘acknowledges that Oregon’s very founding as a state was rooted in racist ideals, and while the Black exclusionary laws are no longer on the books, the damaging impact of these and other racist policies continue to exist within our present-day policies and systems perpetuating health disparities. HB 4052 calls for accelerated, intentional actions to heal these injustices and articulates strategies and investments to address health inequities,’ OPHA’s website says.

The Civil Rights movement won, and Normal Americans are glad for it.  People like Brown are determined to undo all the necessary progress and good will Americans have achieved in the decades since.  D/S/Cs have taken on the mantle of patriotism:

Among Republicans surveyed, 68% said they would stay and fight compared to 40% of Democrats. Fifty-two percent of Democrats said they would flee the country, while only 25% of Republicans said the same.

It’s easy to be “patriotic” when everyone else is a racist and you expect them to do all the dying to preserve your standard of living.  The time has long passed when Normal Americans, and world leaders, particularly hostile leaders, had the slightest doubt Joe Biden is senile and continues to rapidly decline:

Yet, it’s what Biden said about Reps. Colin Allred (D-TX), Marc Veasey (D-TX), and Jake Ellzey (R-TX) is rather…problematic. Biden said that two of the congressmen, Veasey and Allred, look like they can play basketball; both men are black. He added that Congressman Ellzey looks like a dude who would bomb you. Now, Ellzey was a Navy fighter pilot who fought in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. If this was a joke, it missed its target by several hundred miles.

But it’s Normal Americans who are all racists.  Wasn’t it Joe Biden who was best buddies with one of the most notorious clansman of the last century?  We’re led by idiots:

Thought exercise: how far would America have to fall before the leaders of minor, regional powers refuse to take an American president’s calls?

The alleged American president’s response to the Ukraine War has been so detrimental to America’s own interests that everyone sees him as weak. On Tuesday, the Wall Street Journal reported that two of the Middle East’s richest petrostates wouldn’t even take Biden’s call:

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman and the U.A.E.’s Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed al Nahyan both declined U.S. requests to speak to Mr. Biden in recent weeks, the officials said, as Saudi and Emirati officials have become more vocal in recent weeks in their criticisms of American policy in the Gulf.

‘Hi, it’s the leader of the world’s most powerful nation and I was wondering if … Hello? Hello?’

No, they’re not going to provide us any oil.  No, Biden’s handlers aren’t going to allow America to produce any either, and Venezuela has announced it’s not going to provide any either.  But whose fault is that?

So fast forward to today when ignoring over one year of catastrophic policies, the U.S. State Department’s senior energy security adviser Amos Hochstein – seeing the freefall in White House approval ratings – turned that tables hoping that most Americans are idiots instead of only half, and said that shale companies choosing not to reinvest massive profits into higher production growth at a time of war is ‘appalling.’

Hammered by policies that discourage evil investments boosting ‘fossil fuel’ output, and under pressure from activist investors to boost cash flows after a decade of weak returns, many publicly traded explorers are limiting production growth to no more than 5%. But that is suddenly at odds with the Biden administration’s efforts to curb soaring inflation and energy prices at home.

So after a year of trying to defang domestic energy companies, the White House – whose Fed Vice Chair candidate Sarah Bloom Raskin even went so far as suggesting to starve energy companies of capital – is now asking producers to raise oil supply to replace Russian crude flows after Biden banned oil imports from the country.

In other words, while yesterday it was Putin’s fault, now it is the fault of shale companies according to an administration that will always find blame anywhere it looks except its own devastating policies.

Uh-huh.  This week congressional D/S/Cs are demanding Biden forbid all drilling on federal land and end all oil subsidies.  Oh, and Raskin was so out there, she was forced to withdraw her nomination when Joe Manchin said: “no way.”  Yes, the people who write The Atlantic, are idiots:

And so is USA Today:

What exactly is a “woman” anyway?  Apparently female DNA and parts are optional.  So is United Airlines:

And so is Janet Yellen:

Yellen, you may recall, in October of 2021, swore inflation would be “temporary.”  We end this edition of TSTS with the utter moral decline of Disney, and the political ascendence of Ron DeSantis:

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) came out swinging hard Thursday against the Walt Disney Company for its CEO’s support of transgender instruction for kindergarteners.

‘When you have companies that have made a fortune off being family-friendly and catering to families and young kids, they should understand that parents of young kids do not want this injected into their kid’s kindergarten classroom,’ he said.

DeSantis took it further by calling out Disney’s hypocrisy, characterizing it as a greedy company willing to die on the hill of transgenderism while coddling Communist China.

‘If that’s the hill they’re going to die on, then how do they possibly explain lining their pockets with their relationship from the Communist Party of China? Because that’s what they do, and they make a fortune, and they don’t say a word about the really brutal practices that you see over there at the hands of the CCP,’ he said.

‘And so in Florida, our policies got to be based on the best interest of Florida citizens, not on the musing of woke corporations,’ he added.

Even though the bill specifically bars schools from teaching about sexuality to kindergarteners and third graders, far-left activists have dubbed it the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill.

Of course, the law says and requires no such thing.  And who doesn’t want kindergartners to be sexually indoctrinated, no one, according to ABC.  This is the kind of thing that can, and will, provoke parents, and sane Americans, to violence.  As I’ve written before, no sane person wants to mess with American’s children or pets.  But what about the sample size and methodology?  ABC admits it’s bogus:

This ABC News/Ipsos poll was conducted March 11 to March 12, 2022 by Ipsos using the probability-based KnowledgePanel®. This poll is based on a nationally representative probability sample of 622 adults age 18 or older, with an oversample among LGBTQ+ respondents. (emphasis added)

Sorry to be repetitious, but I don’t want to hear another damned word about LGBTQWERTY not trying to groom children or not having a malicious agenda.  One of the very few honest things Joe Biden has ever said:

Too stupid to survive.