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And in other breaking news, water is wet…  Other than Putin, he’s still getting blamed for everything…

A SMM public service announcement…

I’ve never heard anything so racist…

Coming to a town near you…

Coming to Spring Break near you…

This exceeds my expectations for the ultimate horror…

So does this…

Glad we don’t have to do this anymore…

And this surprises you because…?

Yeah, but that’s different, because shut up you racist, insurrectionist, Putin supporter…

I’m beginning to think he might be a bit paranoid…

I can imagine that…

Me too…

I can believe that…

Don’t worry.  I’m sure the FBI has bugged the turkey…

Shut up you Putin supporter…

I wonder how many millions thought this a real headline?

Toilet paper is next…

Which is why D/S/Cs are trying to destroy it…

Great historical mysteries…

I didn’t think that possible…

I think I’ll have some white bread to celebrate…

But I thought electric vehicles were going to cost less…

That should help…

What did you say?

And in an alternate universe…

Yeah, it’s a mystery…

Ah, the good old days…

And in the just because it’s ridiculously cute department…

Awwwwwwww!

If you haven’t already, consider buying a copy of License To Kill. It’s not funny, but there are some things, and some people, everyone should know.

If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition.  Positive comments on Amazon about LTK would be great too.  Go here to comment.

And now, more humor from Richard Lederer’s classic book Anguished English, which is a collection of accidentally funny things people have written.  This week, some inadvertently funny student writings:

“One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable.  Achilles appears in ‘The Illiad’ by Homer.  Homer also wrote ‘The Oddity,’ in which Penelope was the last hardship Ulysses endured on his journey.  Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.”

“Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.  They killed him.  Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.  The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.”

“The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands.  There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn’t climb over to see what their neighbors were doing.  When they fought the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.”

“Eventually the Romans conquered the Greeks.  History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.”

 These days we need humor more than ever.  I’ll see you next Sunday, and I hope, every day in between!