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Being retired has its advantages, such as being able to watch Gropin’ Joe Biden’s first press conference live (available here).  Having done that, I’m thinking perhaps being retired is not so advantageous after all.  It was amazing—and terrifying.  I’m sure I’ll have more to say later, but for now, my initial impressions.  I’ll post this earlier in the day than usual and update later as it becomes necessary.

*In judging any public appearance by Joe Biden, we begin with the expectation he’ll noticeably fade after a short period of time.  That’s “fade” from a pretty faded initial aspect.

*Biden was clearly somewhat more alert as he began, but his eyes appeared at once unusually wide open, and simultaneously glassy. No doubt, he’s taking powerful drugs to appear as semi-alert as he does.

*He began by praising himself for “putting 100 millions shots in arms” before schedule, and said he’d put another 100 million shots in arms before schedule too.  To whatever degree this was true, it was only possible because of Donald Trump’s Operation Warp Speed, which developed three vaccines and ordered 800 million doses before Biden took office. He continues to deny Trump any credit for what are extraordinary accomplishments, reserving that credit for himself, but he has had plenty of practice at that.

*He called on reporters from a prepared list, and had continual trouble finding his place, mumbling and stumbling.  When he called out a reporter’s name, he stared at them with an entirely blank look on his face.

*It was obvious he was given the questions in advance, and had prepared answers on the podium.

*He almost entirely failed to directly address most questions.  He virtually always rambled away from the script, discoursing on entirely different issues, often staring blankly off to the side or downward.

*In several instances, after long, disjointed, non-responsive rambles, he would suddenly shut down, stop speaking and look downward.  After a long, awkward pause—I’m sure his handlers were panicking off camera: “OMG!  What’s he doing?  Is he going to totally freeze up?”—he’d mumble something and sort of come back to the moment.

*His responses to border questions were almost entirely non-responsive, and blamed Trump for Biden’s disaster.  I won’t expect fact checkers to check anything Biden said, but virtually everything he said on this topic is ripe for exposure as lies.

*Virtually every question was prefaced with Democrat/Socialist/Communist talking points/premises to the effect that Republicans were the worst scourge of humanity ever, so what are you going to do about…

*There were a few reporters who appeared to actually ask unscripted follow up questions that approached what an actual journalist might ask. These were usually greeted by a rictus grin from Biden that promised “you aren’t ever going to be allowed to ask a question again.”  His responses to such questions were brief, rambling, and non-responsive.

*On China, he’s best buddies with the Communist President, and he sees them as serious competitors.  So what is he going to do about China?  Well, that’s hard, and he’s working on stuff.

*Mostly, the “that’s hard, and we’re working on stuff” response was Biden’s answer to every foreign policy question.

*The whole thing is about “autoracy vs. democracy.”  We have to convince everybody democracy works.

*One reporter asked about North Korea’s recent missile tests.  Biden quoted a specific UN resolution number, saying the Norks violated that resolution.  Do we need any additional evidence the questions and answers were prepared in advance?  What is Joe going to do about that?  Well…ramble…it’s hard, it’s his top foreign policy issue, and he’s working on it.

*Is Joe going to run in 2024?  Yes.  Well, maybe, well, he can’t plan anything 3-4 years in advance, and he’s really a fan of fate.

*Is Kamala Harris going to be his running mate in 2024?  Sure, because she’s doing a great job, just a great job…

*Why are people rushing the border?  Is it because Joe is so nice?  Nah, folksy Joe replied, it’s only because things are so rotten in their countries.  That’s the only reason, and he’s going to give those countries 700 million or so to make things better.

*What about little children squeezed like sardines in horrible conditions?  Well, Joe is going to make sure they get phone calls to people in America that might or might not be parents or relatives, and he has 5000 beds at Ft. Bliss, and he’s sending 1000 people there—sometime, and ramble, Trump, ramble, glassy eyes, pause, stumble, and it’s hard and they’re working on it.

*Will Joe give reporters access to border facilities? Sure, just as soon as he gets doing the things he’s doing now.  When will that be?  “I don’t know,” but he’s all about transparency.

*Joe makes no apologies for policies “that did not exist before Trump became president.”  He was trying to say everything Trump did on immigration was terrible, inhumane, and he doesn’t regret anything he’s done in turning the southern border into a disaster.  Oh, and everything was worse there before he overturned all of Trump’s policies.

*Joe is uniting the country and will work with any Republican that wants to vote exactly as Joe says he should.  He is uniting the country, because the elected Republicans don’t agree with him, but Republican voters do.

*Republicans are trying to suppress the vote.  Why, they’re shutting down the polls at 5 PM!  Uh…where has that ever happened, Joe? Then he said this: 

‘What I’m worried about is how un-American this whole initiative is. It’s sick. It’s sick,’ he said. I’m convinced that we’ll be able to stop this, because it is the most pernicious thing— this makes Jim Crow look like Jim Eagle.’

No.  I have no idea what that meant either.  That’s why he absolutely has to pass the Corrupt Politicians Act—H.R.1–because Republicans are trying to destroy Democracy by making sure only eligible people vote.

*The filibuster is evil, and Joe wants to do away with it.  It’s much abused, you see.

*Towards the end, Biden suddenly wandered away from the podium while a reporter was talking, ambling the opposite direction from the entrance to the room.  I was watching on Fox, which only showed Biden as he was ambling back to the podium.  I’m sure his handlers were whispering: “what the…!  Where’s he going?!  What’s he doing?!”

*The press conference lasted about a hour, which was at least 30 minutes longer than Biden is capable of seeming mostly, sort of, coherent.

One thing is certain: our enemies were intently watching his horrifying display.  I suspect some of them are still thinking we’re trying to pull a fast one on them, lull them into complacency.  During WWII, the Germans could not believe Eisenhower would not use his best commander—Patton—in a lead combat role.  Now, our enemies are having trouble believing America would put someone mentally and physically failing into the Oval Office.  More likely, and absolutely tragically, they’re well beyond that already.

Perhaps our enemies have already accepted America has a dementia patient as president, and the only real question is how they can best take advantage of that lack of rationality, and how far and fast they can push.  All indications are North Korea, Russia, Iran and China have already made that calculation, which is very bad news for us, and the rest of the world.

But hey, Jim Eagle, and at least Joe isn’t making mean tweets.

Pseudo-Update: OK, so I forgot this one earlier, but Biden told us, when talking on and off about infrastructure, we’ll need to raise our nation’s roads three feet–global warming you know. Yeah, I know the international climate nazis claims the seas will rise only 0.5″ in the next century, but Joe knows best. I’m sure all those Keystone Pipeline unemployed can raise all the roads. Probably a good idea to get ahead of things, like trying to justify a three trillion dollar infrastructure bill that’s next on the D/S/C list of transformational wonders.