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We have to believe all…er…hear all…er…something all women!  Where would we be without the Babylon Bee—hey, that rhymes!

Relationships in 2020…

Quick!  Somebody drop a small business on her!  That’s not to suggest I’m advocating violence against non-existent characters that are a parody of a non-existent character from a movie released in 1939…oh, who cares?

Yeah, but who can understand English written in the 1700s, other than my students who can understand Shakespeare from the 1500s?

Automatic social distancing…

Which taught him about roaches and kids jumping on his lap.  He loves kids jumping on his lap… 

Positive effects of the lockdown, #24, 391…

Hello, Domino’s?  I’d like a pizza every day, once an hour, until I tell you to stop.  What kind?  I don’t care…

That and Covid-19 are the only causes of death these days…

You have to be a certain age to get this one, but if you do…

All you have to do is be smarter than a politician…

But of course, because TRUMP!!!!!!!

Know your dogs…and Democrat politicians…

Where would the funnies be without AOC?  Hey, that rhymes too!

With frickin’ laser beams on their heads?

Yeah, well, that’s Trump’s fault too!

And suddenly, #MeToo meant something entirely different…

Hey, you have to have somebody’s standards…

Yeah, well believing that is stupid, but whatever Trump says is a dog whistle for something awful, so…

This is news?

Dog humor…

Yup…

Yup also…

Well, that and Nancy Pelosi…

It’s getting so hard to tell between reality and satire…

Well, that’s hard to believe: felons released from jail behaving like felons?

Troll level: Grand Master…

And in the just because it’s really cute, and very topical department:

While we wait for various governors to announce their 87 point plans to eventually open the economy sometime in the next quarter century, it might be a good time to buy a copy of License To Kill.   A good book will help pass the time as you waste away in a comfortable chair, and besides, watching cat videos gets old after awhile…

If you get the book directly through the publisher, I’ll make a few cents more than if you get it at Amazon. It’s $17.99 at either source, and Amazon has a $4.99 Kindle edition, which won’t be so good for…you know.  Fortunately, my publisher and Amazon are still in business.  Unlike the common misconception, few authors make a living on writing, and I’m one that doesn’t.  Besides, I’m retiring at the end of the month.  Positive comments on Amazon make a real difference.  Go here to comment. 

I’ll see you next Sunday for the Funnies, and hopefully, every day in between. Stay well, and help me mock those so richly deserving of mockery.  It’s our American duty!