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Adam Schiff, AOC, Banana peels, CNN, Elizabeth Warren, Fake news, Gerry Nadler, Gropin' Joe Biden, Mike Bloomberg, Nancy Pelosi, President Trump, vibrating spinning, Virginia insanity
The world is facing a deadly contagion, and CNN is worried about the diversity of the task force Mr. Trump promptly established to deal with it. Fake news.
He’s correct:
And where would an edition of Too Stupid To Survive be without AOC? Hey, that rhymes!
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., stated on Monday that the Democratic Party is a ‘center or center-conservative’ party and how there currently isn’t a ‘left’ party in the United States.
Speaking at an event commemorating Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Ocasio-Cortez knocked her own party for not being progressive enough.
‘We don’t have a left party in the United States. The Democratic Party is not a left party,’ the freshman congresswoman began, which sparked applause from the audience. ‘The Democratic Party is a center or a center-conservative party.’
Uh-huh. And the evidence for this is…?
She continued, ‘We can’t even get a floor vote on Medicare-for-all — not even a floor voted that gets voted down. We can’t even get a vote on it. So this is not a left party. There are left members inside the Democratic Party that are working to try to make that shift happen.
Oh. Of course. I know D/S/Cs think their “messaging” defines reality, but…
We talk about China as our competitor? We should be helping, and benefiting ourselves by doing that,’ Biden said during a campaign event in Iowa. ‘But the idea that China is going to eat our lunch, it was like I remembered debates in the late 90s, remember Japan was going to own us? Give me a break.’
Biden continued, ‘So, the idea we’re gonna cut the defense budget significantly, we can cut it some, but we don’t need standing armies, we need to be smarter than we’re dealing now into how we handle this.’
“…we don’t need standing armies”?! Well, that will certainly free up a lot of money for Medicare For All, and without an Army, we’re going to need it. Wouldn’t you like to have been a fly on the wall in the room when Gropin’ Joe came offstage to chat with his advisors after that one? Gropin’ Joe has also discovered the new civil rights issue of our time. I mean, who can’t get behind men peeing alongside little girl’s in women’s bathrooms? It’s like Birmingham, police dogs and fire hoses all over again!
First there was eating Tide Pods, then…
Doctors have warned horny young men to refrain from using banana peels to masturbate — the latest bizarre sex trend circulating on social media.
Sorry. I’m not doing a photo for this one.
‘It’s the closet thing to a blowjob,’ wrote one randy Redditor, who claims ‘he’s been doing it for years.
And the folks at the local grocery store checkout counter just thought he was eating healthy.
However, Dr. Diana Gill of prescription service Doctor-4-U cautions against the perverse practice. ‘You could develop a rash and sores on the penis which can be painful and might lead to infection,’ Gill told the Sun. Not only that, but she claims a person with a fruit or latex allergy could be more susceptible to a reaction from a banana skin.
There are a plethora of potential jokes, but I’m not going there either—too easy, and it would take you years, gentle readers, to rinse the imagery out of your minds. Talk about getting a buzz, here’s a story about a—ahem—stimulating accessory for Peloton-like exercise bikes:
Isn’t that the way you’d like your girl to look when she’s thinking about you?
The cheeky cushion has a pouch that allows users to insert a sex toy, allowing them to pedal their way to pleasure. It comes in three colors, retails for $29.99 and can be attached to most bicycles, including stationary models, road racers and mountain bikes.
Although a vibrator is not included, CamSoda recommends the Lovense Lush, a sex toy that can be operated remotely. Its users will have the option of handing the controls over to another person — or, if they’re feeling extra saucy, they can link it to their CamSoda account, where people can pay for the right to control the cyclist’s climax.
Film at 11.
One wonders what she’s learned. English is bad? America is bad? Brown and Black people can’t speak English?
I know they get a bit tired out on the campaign trail, but this? Next thing you know, he’ll be kissing women and shaking babies.
They actually let people like this make laws in Virginia…and elsewhere… And now, let’s explore bold new ideas in governance with Elizabeth Warren:
During a campaign event in Iowa Sunday, Warren said ‘a young trans person [had] asked about a welcoming community and I said, ‘It starts with the Secretary of Education, who has a lot to do with where we spend our money’ … and I said, ‘I’m going to have a Secretary of Education that this young trans person interviews on my behalf.’
And the best part? The trans child she wants to vet a cabinet level appointment is 9 years old. Who better to make such decisions than a sexually confused 3rd grader? And that’s not the least of what we’d see in a Warren Administration:
Another day, another desperate ploy by Elizabeth Warren as she continues to drop in polling in early Democrat primary states and nationwide. It would seem that she sees her nosediving poll and donation numbers as a sign that her bazillion plans to upend every segment of our economy and society don’t go far enough.
Her latest plan is to hold big tech companies like Facebook, Twitter, and Google responsible for the spread of misinformation intended to suppress, among other things, voter turnout. Considering that suppressing voter turnout is a pretty common tactic used by Democrats (and Republicans), this is a pretty interesting move.
I seem to remember something about a First Amendment, you know: free speech and all, and political speech receiving the greatest protection? Let us travel to Impeachment Land, where we learn no election is legitimate unless a D/S/C wins, and no impeachment trial is legitimate unless a Republican president is deposed:
Poor San Fran Nan. This pretty much sums up the entire impeachment clown show:
Wrapping up the second day of questioning by the Senate jurors, Chief Justice John Roberts called on the House managers to answer the final question of the evening.
‘Could you please respond to the answer just given by the president’s counsel and provide any other comments the Senate would benefit from hearing before we adjourn for the evening?’ Roberts read from the card.
Nadler is then seen jumping out of his chair and rushing to the center podium, quickly getting the attention of Schiff, who also leaped from his seat.
‘Jerry. Jerry. Jerry,’ Schiff is heard saying as he took a few steps towards Nadler, but failed to stop him from speaking.
His summation didn’t go so well, did it, gentle readers?
Do take the link and see the brief video. It’s as pathetic, and hilarious, as the article makes it sound. It’s things like this that make one seriously ponder whether we shouldn’t involuntarily remove states like New York from the union.
Too stupid to survive.
Coronavirus task force diversity: Make CNN live up to their demands, including ownership and the talking heads.
AOC doesn’t realize she will soon be considered a ‘right-opportunist’ by her woke allies.
With impeachment acquittal pending, Biden’s faux poll numbers took a dive, revealing how many people realize he’s gone from being a dunderhead to a demented dunderhead. Hat tip to Sundance of the CTH for calling it a couple of days ago. The Iowa caucastrophe is making it even more apparent how cooked the poll numbers were all along.
Banana peels: It never EVER would have occurred to me to use them in that way. I guess I’ll never be woke. At least the idea is so absurd to me I can dismiss the images that come up.
Stationary bike riding sex toy: Sorry, but having been a horny boy once there was a Six Swedes porn movie featuring just such a device.
Klobuchar joins Elizabeth Warren in going full Beto (my term for adopting ridiculous political positions in an attempt to prop up sagging poll numbers).
I play with my pitty’s mouth, so I don’t think it’s ridiculous.
HB961 Defense: Seven minutes of blathering rather than defending your position means you know your position is either stupid/wildly unpopular/illegal or some combination thereof.
Elizabeth Warren going full Beto.
Pelosi: Guilty unless you prove innocence. Since when did we adopt French Revolutionary Tribunal legal standards? And you had witnesses. And aren’t releasing the transcript from the ICIG deposition.
Closing words: It was late, everyone was tired, and even Nadler had had enough of Schiff’s bull. And he had a gravely ill wife to visit. He could have made his last remarks briefer though.
The leftists have clearly lost their minds, but there is some truth to Biden’s statement about “no standing armies”. Like Madison and Jefferson, I too fear that a standing army could be used for improper purposes. There is zero chance that the US is going to be invaded by a large foreign army, so I would be in favor of a smaller active duty Army, with a suitable Navy, Air Force, Space Force, an adequate number Marine brigades and Army airborne units for rapid deployment, plus a number of active duty Army armored and mechanized brigades, together with a much larger Army reserve force. The goal is to save some money, but primarily to limit the ability of the left to be tempted to try to use a standing army for domestic repression.
And, yes, I know that the US military would find many creative ways to sidestep any unlawful order from Washington DC, but we must still be eternally vigilant.