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The Intrepid Museum

How do you get criminals to show up for their court dates?  You know, the criminals that were released on their own recognizance, or given very low bails, the criminals that have a history of skipping court appearances, because they’re so busy committing other crimes?  Those criminals?  Keep them in jail until their court dates?  Impose substantial bails?  That’s so old school, and racist, and Trump and stuff!  New York City, that laboratory of criminal justice innovation, has a better idea, as Fox News reports:

New York City will be gifting accused criminals tickets to a museum and baseball games, and up to $25 gift card to restaurants and stores, like Target, in a bid to keep them from skipping their court dates, the New York Post reported.

The Big Apple’s $12 million supervised-release plan will take effect on Jan. 1, 2020 with the city’s new bail reform program, which was reportedly a contributing factor for the New York City Police commissioner’s recently announced decision to step down.

The “bail reform program” to which Fox refers amounts to doing away with bail for hardened criminals.

The array of gifts, which will be offered to alleged criminals to convince them to show up to court, include cell phones, New York Mets tickets and passes to the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum in Manhattan, as well as gift cards to restaurants and stores, including Target, Applebee’s, McDonald’s and Dunkin’ Donuts, according to the report.

You’re literally rewarding them for committing a crime,’’ one irate senior Manhattan Criminal court worker told the outlet.

 No kidding.

The offered items also include single-ride subway passes, cell phone minutes and toiletries.

De Blasio said at an unrelated press conference Wednesday the incentive program ‘has been worked on by experts over time and proven to work, proven to be a good investment.’

Oh.  Since it’s “experts,” I guess no one has cause for complaint, do they, unless of course one expects “experts” to have some working knowledge of human nature…

I think people should ask a real basic question: ‘What’s going to get trials to happen on a regular basis, speedily?’ de Blasio said. ‘What’s going to help us mete out justice the way it’s supposed to be done?

It’s puzzling indeed.  How does one get people who have no respect for the law, who have every incentive to avoid coming to court because they know they’re going to be convicted and sent to jail, have to pay fines, do community service, and all that inconsequential stuff, to come to court?  In NYC, apparently by giving them presents for committing crimes.  I’m sure Joe felon will say to himself: “self,” he’ll say, “if I come to court on that armed robbery beef, I’ll get a Target gift card for $25 bucks, and some Mets tickets.  Sure, I’ll gonna end up doing 10-20 in the pen ‘cuz it’s my 5th felony conviction—they have video, my homies rolled over on me, and I confessed, but hey, a Target gift card and Mets tickets?  That’s a no brainer!”

This is the kind of “expert” advice and enlightened D/S/C policy that has made cities like New York, Chicago, Detroit, Baltimore and others the “move to” magnets they are today.  Perhaps Mayor De Blasio will really get serious and offer things like free illegal handguns, multiple sessions with high-class call girls, even high quality illegal drugs.  They can get the guns and drugs from police evidence lockers, so it won’t cost a thing.  Actually, they’ll just be recycling the stuff.  Seize it from criminals; give it right back out to them!  That will entirely eliminate the middleman and streamline the entire criminal justice process!  Talk about enlightened fiscal policy!  I’m sure they can come to an understanding with call girls: provide services in exchange for not being arrested?  It’s a win/win for everybody, unless the call girls want to be arrested to get the free stuff.

Or better yet, they could give years off sentences for future felonies, or vouchers for various felony crimes: get out of arrest free cards for burglary, robbery, car jacking, drug dealing, rape, and if they really wanted to go full woke, even murder!  Of course, those big vouchers would be saved for favored victim groups, and the most hardened criminals who really don’t want to come to court, but if the point is to “mete out justice the way it’s supposed to be done,” it’s only logical, and oh so progressive!

Actually, since a major plank of the 2020 D/S/C Party is to do away with incarceration for favored victim groups entirely, why not just go for permanent get out of arrest/jail free cards for qualifying felons?  That would do away with the failure to show up for court problem entirely, while simultaneously stamping out racism!

See how easy this is?  Maybe I can get a job as a NYC “expert”?  It just makes you want to sell your house and move to NYC, so you too can ride the brave new, socialist wave of progress, doesn’t it gentle readers?