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Washington DCSMM News has learned that every employee of BuzzFeed regularly buggers farm animals.  Three anonymous agriculture industry insiders with access to witness statements, documents, animal e-mails and FDA inspectors have sworn that all BuzzFeed employees are deeply involved in an interstate animal buggering ring.  According to these highly credible sources, a number of the victims have given complete statements, saying: “Baaaah!”  “Honk, honk!” “Quack!” and most tellingly, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

If true, these accusations could spell trouble for the entire Buzzfeed enterprise.  Federal iivestock inspector H. “Bud” Cowpie told SMM News: “If this is true, they’re all goin’ down!  We don’t go for that kind of thing; it’s damned icky!  If it’s true, that is.”

SMM News was also told by anonymous sources that President Donald Trump told the farm animal victims to lie to Congress about their victimization, particularly the female farm animals.  Congresswoman Rashind Tlaib said: “Impeach the motherfucker–whether it’s true or not!”  And also: “Death to Jewish livestock!”

A BuzzFeed victim, identity concealed
credit: foodtank.com

I’m old enough to remember when universal journalistic standards required at least two independent sources, and a great deal of old fashioned legwork to confirm their stories, before any story would be published.  The bigger the story, the more careful the confirmation. Any story involving the President of the United States would have to be near holy writ before publication would be considered.  Journalists understood false stories were terribly damaging to their credibility, and that there must be a crystal clear line between news and opinion writing. Injecting one’s political/social opinions into the news was grounds for immediate firing.  Getting any story wrong was damned serious.  Lying in a story meant immediate firing.

By 2004, inspired by Dan Rather’s CBS attempt to influence a presidential election via Rathergate.  Dan Rather established an entirely new, but inevitable, standard for reporting: “fake but accurate.”  While the Rathergate story did quote a single named source, it immediately became clear he had no credibility, and CBS ran the story not because they could prove its lunatic allegations, but because it should have been true, they just knew it must be true because it attacked a Republican, and it was thus “fake but accurate.”

Circa 2019, the media, suffering from terminal Trump Derangement Syndrome, have abandoned any pretense of journalistic ethics and personal integrity.  News writing is opinion writing.  The new universal standard is “if it’s true,” which is more or less an extension of the “fake but accurate” doctrine.  Anonymous sources are more than good enough–or no sources at all–and no actual independent confirmation of their stories is necessary (the “too good to check” doctrine, in effect for decades).  “If it’s true” allows the media to publish anything they think ought to be true, or anything they want to be true, and puts the burden of proof on the person(s) they’re attacking.  Injecting personal political/social animus into reporting is now a job qualification.

I’m down with this standard of proof, and I’m waiting for BuzzFeed to prove they’re not farm animal buggerers.  Just think of all those poor victims all over flyover country! MOOOOOOOOOO!

I’m sure by now, gentle readers, you know of BuzzFeed’s fake story claiming that President Trump directed Michael Cohen to lie to Congress.  BuzzFeed is a propaganda wing of the Democrat Party that first published the fake Russia dossier that was and is the excuse for the TrumpRussia hysteria.  For 24 hours the Media, and Democrats (I know: one-in-the-same) went berserk, drooling and screaming with joy.  They finally got Trump!  He was going to be impeached tomorrow!  Then the Special Counsel released a very rare statement torpedoing BuzzFeed’s story.  The invaluable Kurt Schlichter notes:

What is this eerie power Donald Trump has to select the perfect enemies, enemies whose own myriad failings often cause them to commit ritual suicide whenever they face him? He usually doesn’t even have to do anything – these goofs do it to themselves.

His latest victim is BuzzFraud, that listcicle-curating web site for millennial geeks that had the mainstream media in a 24-hour festival of onanism over a report so full of Schumer that even Mueller and his pack of Democrat activists had to shout, ‘Yo, chill.’

The Mueller team consists of some of the most rabid, leftist, Trump/normal American haters in existence.  Lisa Page and Peter Strozk weren’t the worst of their kind, merely the most exposed.

It’s not like BuzzFraud had a lot of journalistic credibility to start with, but props to them for managing to gather up every iota of once and future integrity, hauling it out in front of everyone, dousing it with 91 octane premium, and tossing in a match.

And in the White House, serene as the government shutdown continues, Trump smiles.

Michael Goodwin takes it from there at The New York Post:

Imagine that a scientist wanted to conduct an experiment to see if it’s true that blind hatred of President Trump has led Democrats and their media handmaidens to go ’round the bend and off the cliff.

Such a scientist would inject a damning — and false — media report about Trump into the political bloodstream, then observe the reactions. It wouldn’t take long.

The Gotcha! glee, the declarations of Trump’s certain impeachment for suborning perjury, reckless references to Richard Nixon, the breathless anticipation of resignation and disgrace, perhaps prison — these and other overheated reactions quickly clogged the airwaves and Internet, growing ever more bold as the day wore on and no compelling rebuttal appeared.

Then, suddenly, the scientist pulled the plug on the experiment. He had seen enough to prove the thesis: Much of America, many of its leaders and some of its most prominent institutions are indeed gripped with madness.

Hatred for the president has corrupted their judgments and blinded them to duty and decency. Having succumbed to prejudice and rage, they have proven themselves unworthy of public trust.

Case closed.

Sometimes, life is stranger than fiction. Friday was such a day in America. It was a shameful spectacle.

The BuzzFeed News report that special counsel Robert Mueller had corroborating evidence that Trump had instructed his former lawyer, Michael Cohen, to lie to Congress about a Moscow commercial project set the anti-Trump mob on fire. It was the bombshell development Dems and 90 percent of the media have dreamed of — and finally it was here. Oh, Happy Days!

Except it wasn’t true. Mueller said so in an unprecedented debunking that slammed the brakes on the celebration.

Mueller’s statement put an end–more or less–to feverish but unsuccessful attempts by other media outlets to confirm BuzzFeed’s story.  Prof. Jacobson at Legal Insurrection reports:   

Reliable Sources’ [boy, there’s irony] host Brian Stelter agreed with his latter statement but said as a media reporter, he was ‘desperate’ for his audience to judge individuals and brands on a case-by-case basis.

‘Don’t fall for what these politicians out there want you to do. They want you to think we’re all crooked,’ Stelter said. ‘We’re not.’

Chris Cuomo also is angry, because Mueller just did Trump a favor:

‘Mueller didn’t do the media any favors tonight, and he did do the president one, because as you saw with Rudy Giuliani and as I’m sure you’ll see with the president himself, this allows them to say, ‘You can’t believe it. You can’t believe what you read, you can’t believe what you hear, you can only believe us,’ he said. ‘Even the special counsel says that the media doesn’t get it right.

Various Democrat politicians are unable to let go of the obviously fake but accurate story, still claiming they must investigate at the least, and surely impeach, impeach, impeach!  BuzzFeed continues to stand by its story, but even The Washington Post is not quite in stage four Trump Derangement, at least not on this story:

Buzzfeed also is aggressively going after Mueller’s rebuke, providing emails to The Washington Post between Buzzfeed and Mueller’s office. Read the WaPo story, released tonight. It’s not helpful to Buzzfeed:

“People familiar with the matter said after BuzzFeed published its story — which was attributed to “two federal law enforcement officials involved in an investigation of the matter” — the special counsel’s office reviewed evidence to determine if there were any documents or witness interviews like those described, reaching out to those they thought might have a stake in the case.

They found none, these people said. That, the people said, is in part why it took Mueller’s office nearly a day to dispute the story publicly….

People familiar with the matter said the special counsel’s office meant the statement to be a denial of the central theses of the BuzzFeed story — particularly those that referenced what Cohen had told the special counsel, and what evidence the special counsel had gathered.

The usual media crazies are, well, crazy:

Rachel Maddow, and MSNBC generally, is in the bargaining phase. BUT HE’S STILL A BAD MAN! Don’t stop trying to impeach him just because Buzzfeed may have screwed up, and anyway, maybe Buzzfeed’s report is false but accurate! RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!

Normal Americans don’t trust the media because they are “a bunch of leftist liars who are dying to get the president, and they’re willing to lie to do it.”  The Media Research Center reports 2018 coverage of President Trump was 92% negative.  Even a casual visit to any lamestream media outlet will reveal their lunatic anti-Trump, anti-normal American bias.  Incredible amounts of airtime have been devoted to the Russia hoax, despite not a shred of evidence turning up to support it in more than two years.

Contemporary journalistic standards are, of course, flexible.  They apply to Republicans, particularly President Trump, most of all.  They are usually suspended when Democrats are involved. Often, they don’t report at all on Democrat misdeeds, or when they do, don’t identify their party.  They only report and identify parties when their misdoings are so egregious–and already widely known–they can’t possibly be ignored, but even then, they do their best to downplay them.

For many years, if it’s midnight and the media reports it is dark, I have trotted outside to confirm the darkness.  There are innumerable,easily found, fake Trump news stories that blew up in the faces of the media.  There may be a few honest journalists, but as with the FBI, their organizations are so corrupted, it’s virtually impossible to trust any of them.  Some journalists try to ridicule the idea that there is a leftist media conspiracy.  “We don’t meet every day to discuss how to get conservatives,” they sputter indignantly.

I’m sure they’re right.  They don’t have to do that.  Virtually no conservatives work in the media.  According to The Washington Examiner, 96% of the media donated to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign.  Other sources report similarly outlandish numbers of media employees solidly in the leftist camp.  They don’t need to have meetings.  They all think exactly the alike.  They’re all in terminal stage Trump Derangement syndrome.  They know what to do, how to do it,  and who to do it to.

Some may recall JournoList, an invitation-only e-mail listserve established to spread leftist story ideas and talking points around the nation and media.  It worked only too well, and media outlets, local, state and national were publishing identical headlines, stories and fake news on a daily basis.  The whole stinking mass of journalistic corruption was finally exposed and ended in 2010:

In other words, JournoList is a symptom, not the disease. And the disease is not a secret conspiracy but something more like the “open conspiracy” H. G. Wells fantasized about, where the smartest, best people at every institution make their progressive vision for the world their top priority.

As James DeLong, a fellow at the Digital Society, correctly noted on the Enterprise Blog, “The real problem with JournoList is that much of it consisted of exchanges among people who worked for institutions about how to best hijack their employers for the cause of Progressivism.”

For a liberal activist, that’s forgivable, I guess. But academics? Reporters? Editors? Even liberal opinion writers aren’t supposed to “coordinate” their messages with the mother ship.

JournoList was convenient for the Left, but they didn’t really need it. The determination of media leftists to damage the objects of their hatred, which include normal Americans, all conservatives, white men, and President Trump, has not in the least abated. President Trump was right: the primary product of the lamestream media is fake news. Rathergate only exposed it in such a way it could no longer be denied.  Shortly thereafter, media leftists stopped trying to deny it and embraced the corruption.

The media’s pitiful disappointment at learning they did not, in fact, get Trump this time, will be nothing compared to their wailing, rending of garments and gnashing of teeth if Mr. Trump wins a second term in 2020.  I suspect he will, and the screams of anguish will be glorious, even more wretched than in 2016.

Fake news?  What more proof does any sentient being need?