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Another happy cultist

In November of 2017, I wrote an article titled AR-15 Culture. The article addressed the hysteria of the media, blaming all violence in America on AR-15 pattern rifles, despite the fact that most mass shootings have been committed using handguns.  The article was essentially a response to the progressive narrative there is such a thing as an “AR-15 culture,” or cult, and a particularly dangerous cult it is.

One Matthew Walther, writing in The Week, explained the cult to lesser beings:

If the killers had all worn Mickey Mouse sunglasses or been found with Metallica tattoos, it would be considered noteworthy. It’s not biased except in the sense that reality itself is biased against childish gun enthusiasts. But whether he wins his edit war or nay, he has done a great service by reminding us what we’re dealing with whenever we try to argue. He fits a profile, of revoltingly adolescent, video game-addicted LARPers who think that their hobby of playing dress-up with murder weapons is a constitutional right.

The AR-15 is not just a gun. It is a hobby, a lifestyle, an adolescent cult. An entire industry has grown up around the endless array of accessories and modifications that allow these weapons to fire more quickly and more accurately with greater ease, to be reloaded more efficiently, and to resemble their military-issued cousins more closely. As a correspondent for one enthusiast website puts it in his breakdown of the best recent ‘gear’:

To which I replied:

A particular type of rifle in a vast ocean of rifles is “a lifestyle, and adolescent cult”? Of course, people such as Walther—rather an ironic name considering his scorn for guns and gun owners—doubtless think the same of those that own pickup trucks, or dare to imagine the Second Amendment says what it means and means what it says.

USA Today’s idea of AR-15 accessories…

Accompanying that article was a then current illustration from a USA Today article, propping up the AR-15 cult theme.  It featured an illustration of an AR-15 with a chainsaw bayonet.  I’m sure, gentle readers, I need not go into detail about the utter absurdity of that illustration.  Not only does a such a thing not exist, it falls into the category of things so impractical and dangerous to the operator no one would ever think of designing one, and no manufacturer could be found to produce it even if someone’s screws were sufficiently loose to draw up blueprints. It’s rather like buying a new Ferrari and thinking: You know what would look great on the hood?  A combination microwave oven/paint shaker/sewing machine! But in the fevered minds of progressive anti-liberty/gun cultists, odd things indeed lurk, ready to leap onto the pages of nationally distributed newspapers at the roar of an AR-15 chainsaw bayonet.

As the well-known aphorism notes: inspiration is the cousin twice removed of invention, or instruction, or indifference or something.  But anyway, Antonio, apparently a Texan–bless his little sun-baked heart, was obviously inspired by USA Today’s innovation:

So pernicious, so ubiquitous is the AR cult, other cultists were impressed, and are no doubt fabricating their own chainsaw bayonets, probably longer than Antonio’s, to compensate for their penile shortcomings, a malady from which all progressives know gun owners suffer, even the women.  Actually, especially the women, come to think of it.

And of course, probably inspired by President Trump, who is going to blow up the world at any moment–ask any progressive, they’ll tell you–another cultist has invented the ultimate AR-15 accessory:

As a proud member of the evil male patriarchy, and a card-carrying member of the AR-15 cult, I have got to get me one of those! I’ll just have to use it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

credit: thehorrormovieblog