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“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

Mark Twain

Many years ago, I regarded all politicians with reasonable skepticism. This view gradually morphed into outright cynicism.  As Lily Tomlin insightfully said:

No matter how cynical I get, I can’t keep up.

Now, I expect them all to be criminals, so I have a great deal of space for pleasant surprise when one actually appears to work for America, and approaches something like the ethics and behavior of a normal American.

I think less of journalists, and I am wrong less often about them than about politicians.

It is therefore amusing to see reporters, who are supposed to be skeptical about politicians, and who are supposed to take care to avoid even the appearance of partisan bias, drool all over the objects of their middle school crushes.  Let us return, gentle readers, to the Clinton Era–the Bubba Clinton era-and reporter Nina Burleigh:

Nina Burleigh (left)

On Thursday’s broadcast of MSNBC’s The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, journalist Nina Burleigh dismissed Peter Schweizer, the author of the highly-anticipated upcoming book Clinton Cash, as a “right-wing hatchet man.”

Burleigh, for the uninitiated, is the reporter who infamously said she would be ‘happy to give [Bill Clinton] a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal.’ Burleigh formerly was the White House correspondent for Time Magazine and covered the Clinton White House. [skip]

In 1998, Burleigh, who had left the White House beat, told a now-defunct magazine about a private game of cards she had with President Clinton and an aide where ‘his hand touched her wrist’ and she caught him gazing at her ‘bike-wrecked, naked legs.’

‘And slowly it dawned on me as I walked away: He found me attractive,’ Burleigh divined.

Well, Bubba is certainly on record as being fond of blowjobs, and he doesn’t discriminate on the basis of age, as his many on-the-record trips on The Lolita Express demonstrate.  The Obama era, however, provided almost unlimited repositories of reporter drool, male and female.  Consider this from New York Times token conservative reporter David Brooks, before Mr. Obama became president, via Hot Air:

Of recent presidents, Clinton could sort of talk like us, but Obama is definitely–you could see him as a New Republic writer. He can do the jurisprudence, he can do the political philosophy, and he can do the politics. I think he’s more talented than anyone in my lifetime. I mean, he is pretty dazzling when he walks into a room. [skip]

‘I remember distinctly an image of–we were sitting on his couches, and I was looking at his pant leg and his perfectly creased pant,’ Brooks says, ‘and I’m thinking, a) he’s going to be president and b) he’ll be a very good president.

But of course!  There’s ample historical precedence for predicting the success of a president based on the creases of his pants, isn’t there?  As we all know, Mr. Obama’s term in office was a resounding, pant crease fueled triumph for humanity.  And during the Obama presidency, Chris Matthews was every excited about Mr. Obama, as The Media Research Center reports:

Chris Matthews

Alexandria, VA – In its just-released Best Notable Quotables of 2010: The 23rd Annual Awards for the Year’s Worst Reporting, MSNBC host Chris Matthew has been granted the Media Research Center’s dubious ‘Quote of the Year’ honor by an esteemed panel of judges who voted to award him for once again announcing the bodily tingles he experiences when he hears President Obama speaking. On the September 7 Hardball, Matthews followed up a clip of Obama saying by pining:

‘I get the same thrill up my leg, all over me, every time I hear those words. I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, that’s me. He’s talking about my country and nobody does it better.

And there was then Newsweek Editor Evan Thomas, who may have taken Barack Obama just a bit seriously:

Well, we were the good guys in 1984, it felt that way. It hasn’t felt that way in recent years. So Obama’s had, really, a different task We’re seen too often as the bad guys. And he – he has a very different job from – Reagan was all about America, and you talked about it. Obama is ‘we are above that now.’ We’re not just parochial, we’re not just chauvinistic, we’re not just provincial. We stand for something – I mean in a way Obama’s standing above the country, above – above the world, he’s sort of God.

I’m sure Mr. Obama would have preferred “Allah,” but as God, he’s big enough to forgive Thomas, who has not yet been beheaded for insulting the progressive messiah.

credit: nationalreviewonline

 As regular readers know, life for progressives is terribly hard during the Trump era.  Some can’t keep from weeping.  Others are in a perpetual state of rage.  Many are undergoing intensive psychotherapy, but others, such as former New York Times Executive Editor Jill Abrahamson, have other, more easily grasped methods of coping with the horror of it all:

“Strange?”  Why no Jill.  I don’t know of anyone that doesn’t carry around a little plastic statue of a former president… no, wait… typo.  That should read: “I don’t know of anyone that does carry around a little plastic statue of a former president.” Yes Jill, I think this does go a bit beyond fantasies of blowjobs, venerating pant creases, tingling legs, and thinking a Chicago Machine, thuggish politician is god.  Your photo should accompany the dictionary definition of “strange.”

These, gentle readers, are the self-imagined intellectual and moral elite.  These are the people that think themselves uniquely qualified to tell us what we ought to know, what we ought to think about it, and to withhold anything that might reflect badly on people like them.  These are the people whose humility extends to believing they are destined to rule mankind.  Them and their little, purse-sized messiahs.