One of the many advantages of having an elite, morally and intellectually superior cadre of professional journalists riding herd on ordinary, “normal” Americans is they have the ability to see connections invisible to the common man. Perhaps it’s something they learn in journalism school, or perhaps it’s a gene the rest of us lack, but thank goodness they have it. Where would we be without their insightful guidance?
Let us then, appropriately humbled gentle readers, try a small experiment. Read the two apparently unrelated news stories that follow and see if you can see the inherent connection. Fox News reports:
A train carrying members of Congress to a Republican retreat in West Virginia slammed into a dump truck on Wednesday, throwing lawmakers from their seats and leaving at least one person dead, officials said.
Minor injuries were reported by those on board. But the White House confirmed in a statement that there was one “fatality” and one serious injury; lawmakers said this involved those in the truck, which may have been stuck on the tracks when it was hit.
‘It was a very high-speed collision,’ Rep. Jeff Denham, R-Calif., who was on board, told Fox News. ‘There was no braking that was felt. We hit an immediate impact and went from 70 to zero very quickly.’
There were mixed reports over whether the train actually derailed, but sources said the front engine ended up with wheels off the tracks. Lawmakers on the train quickly flooded social media with images of the wrecked truck, as well as damage to the crumpled front of the train.”
And now this article, also from Fox News:
South Carolina Republican Rep. Trey Gowdy, the chairman of the House Oversight Committee, announced Wednesday that he is retiring from Congress at the end of his term, becoming the latest high-profile committee chairman to opt against re-election.
‘I will not be filing for re-election to Congress nor seeking any other political or elected office; instead I will be returning to the justice system,’ Gowdy said in a statement.
The former federal prosecutor was elected to Congress in 2010. He quickly gained fame for his role in investigating Obama administration scandals on the Oversight Committee and then as the chairman of the House Select Committee on Benghazi.
The 53-year-old Gowdy, a member of the House Intelligence Committee, has been outspoken about the FBI’s investigations into 2016 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s email practices, as well as the Russia probe involving President Trump and his aides. Most recently, he has been a proponent of publicly releasing the House Intelligence Committee memo on alleged government surveillance abuses.
‘Whatever skills I may have are better utilized in a courtroom than in Congress, and I enjoy our justice system more than our political system,’ he said. ‘As I look back on my career, it is the jobs that both seek and reward fairness that are most rewarding.
There. You see it, don’t you? No? Aw, c’mon! It’s so obvious even a CNN contributor could see it, as Fox News also reports:
Author and self-proclaimed CNN ‘talking head’ Jonathan Tasini took to Twitter on Wednesday to declare that ‘God is working hard today to clean up the stink’ because a ‘train full of Goopers’ slammed into a dump truck moments after news broke that GOP lawmakers were in a collision that resulted in at least one death.
A train carrying members of Congress to a Republican retreat in West Virginia hit a truck on the same morning that South Carolina Republican Rep. Trey Gowdy announced that he is retiring from Congress at the end of his term.
Tasini, who penned a column for CNN as recently as Jan. 13, decided the two stories were the result of God ridding Washington D.C. of his political opponents. The Bernie Sanders surrogate might have pulled off the worst comment-to-like ratio in the history of Twitter, as roughly 781 people commented while only 21 felt inclined to ‘like’ the disturbing message at the time he deleted the tweet. Tasini was slammed in the comments beneath his anti-GOP message, with one user writing, ‘From one media figure to another: you’re going to regret posting this.’
Tasini claims to be a ‘CNN talking head’ in his Twitter bio, but the network was quick to point out that he isn’t paid by them when Fox News reached out for comment. CNN presumably contacted Tasini because he quickly sent a follow-up tweet after several users tagged @CNN beneath his original tweet stating, ‘Let me save you time. I don’t work for CNN. They don’t pay me. They can’t fire me. I apologized nonetheless.
There. You see? A train wreck involving a train carrying a number of Republican members of Congress, and the unexpected announcement of a Republican member of Congress that he will not seek reelection are obviously acts of God! Never mind the Republicans were merely passengers and had nothing to do with the accident. Who knew “CNN talking heads” like Tasini had direct access to the mind and intentions of God? Apparently he does, though, because Tasini not only knows God caused the accident, including one fatality, but he motivated Rep. Gowdy to quit, because God was “clean[ing] up the stink” in Washington. And not only that, God is female! Who knew?
After a demonstration of divine intellect like this, I doubt President Trump will be accusing CNN of fake news again, lest his stink too be cleaned up.
They hate us. They really hate us.