I normally post my weekly education article on Mondays, but as I’m sure you know, gentle readers, Hawaii was thrown into a panic on January 13, when the following message was flashed across the islands. The alert was cancelled after instilling mass panic for more than a half hour. It was, fortunately, a false alarm, and eventually the news that a state official was responsible when he “pushed the wrong button” was disseminated. I had no idea Hawaii had a single button that automatically composes and sends a message like that, but Hawaii is Democrat-ruled, so things are apparently different over there. Perhaps they also have a single “Run Away! Run Away!” button, possibly a “Swim Away! Swim Away!” button, or even a “Godzilla! Godzilla!” button.
As always, our foremost foreign affairs and national security officials–Hollywood actors–swung into action to reassure and inform the public:
And Jim Carrey went beyond normal perception into the psychic realm:
One thing is certain: it was all Donald Trump’s fault. Actors would know that sort of thing. In fact, everything is Donald Trump’s fault. So as a public service, I’m postponing my education article–it’s a good one this week–until Tuesday, to bring you a valuable public service: a photographic listing of some of the other disasters for which Trump is unquestionably responsible: