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Feeling jealousy over the accomplishments of others is commonly thought to be a sign of poor breeding. It is, at the least, indicative of a selfish personality. However, mocking those given conspicuous public awards for political purposes is a venerable American sport, one in which I occasionally participate.

Who can forget Barack Obama receiving a Nobel Peace Prize for his exceptional, world-changing and humanitarian efforts in being Barack Obama? Even the Nobel Committee, which is pretty much incapable of feeling shame, eventually admitted they screwed up. They gave it to him because they were just sure he’d accomplish wonderful things for world peace. Unfortunately, he left the Middle East in flames, and much of the rest of the world ready to go to war at any moment. Ooops!

Now comes Chelsea Clinton, who is famous for being the daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton, and is currently being groomed by the Media for, for—well, for something or other, probably something political, but she denies it, and just as Americans did with her mother, they don’t believe that for a second. Part of such grooming is being given awards of all kinds, and Heat Street reports on the latest:

“So, put this in the box…?

Like her mother before her, Chelsea Clinton appears to be creating a cottage industry for herself in receiving random awards for her unparalleled contributions to society, scintillating takes on current events, and incredibly generous heart.

Not content with just her Variety-sponsored “achievement award,” Chelsea on Tuesday night accepted the annual City Harvest Award for Commitment in fighting hunger in New York City.”

Wow! The “City Harvest Award for Commitment in fighting hunger.” That must have been some commitment. Pray, tell, what Herculean tasks did she undertake to each such an honor?

“Before we claim that she’s done nothing to earn a major award, aside from sitting in a privileged position atop her family’s namesake foundation, or say that she has few actual commitments aside from spending her family’s money and attending a single board meeting for Expedia lest she forfeit the several hundred thousand dollars she earns in her honorary position, in this case, it appears Chelsea did do at least something to earn her award.

On a single day in 2017, she helped City Harvest pack some grapefruit.”

According to the Daily Mail, “Clinton and staff from her family’s foundation packed 25,000lb of grapefruit to distribute to New York residents.

Grapefruit? She and Clinton Foundation staff put grapefruit in boxes? Why grapefruit? I know I’m not really up on the stuff of such noble nutritional commitments, but I’ve never thought grapefruit to be something high on the list of essential foodstuffs to be distributed to the poor. That’s rather like giving them jalapenos, or artichokes, perhaps arugula? But this is New York City, so I guess things are different there…

And isn’t the Clinton Foundation laying off staff? Why yes, according to CNBC,  they’re laying off 74 people, and according to CNN, they’re laying off “dozens” of Clinton Global Initiative staff. It’s a good thing they gave Chelsea the award now. There won’t be anyone to help her pack grapefruit in the future. But grapefruit isn’t the only foodstuff Chelsea has packed:

The previous year, Chelsea and the Clinton Foundation packed sweet potatoes.

“Sweet potatoes?” Why not regular potatoes? New York thing again, I’m sure.

Oh well. If the Nobel Committee can hand out goodies for non-existent peace-making, why can’t Variety hand out awards for looking at, and presumably, putting grapefruit in boxes? This is the kind of selfless, never-ending humanitarianism we need in politics. Chelsea for…something or other, and if that doesn’t work out, she has experience in the lucrative fruit packing trade. Maybe that’s it! Bill and Hillary are helping prepare their daughter for the shuttering of the Clinton Foundation! That’s just the sort of practical people they are.

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