Home, home on the range,
where the deer and the yoga pants play.
Where seldom is heard, a discouraging word,
tactical clothing marketers are not pouty all day.
Writing for the Internet is sometimes a surreal experience. One of the most popular articles I’ve ever written was Montana: Yippie-Ki-Yay Yoga Pants back in February of 2015. It was a brief article about A Montana legislator that wanted to ban, of all
things, yoga pants. As a runner in my earlier days (all those miles have relegated me to wheeled exercise these days), I have long been exposed to, and worn, tights. Actually, I’ve worn tights in theater, and for singing madrigals in costume forever as well, so the mere idea of yoga pants held no salacious thoughts for me, nor did it offend my sense of fashion propriety. I suspect the photos accompanying my little Montana article were more the reason for its popularity than my text, but you take what you can get.
Nubile, sleek and muscular young women in yoga pants more popular than my writing? Who coulda thunk it?
Upon occasion, canny inventors come up with a product that creates and defines a market and inspires a multitude of copycats. Such a company is 5.11, manufacturers of “tactical” clothing. Often, people don’t realize they had a need for such products until they see them. In this case, the need being fulfilled is the brightening of gun ranges, which tend to be overly testosteroned, bland places lacking in feminine charm. While I admit that I’ve never thought “Hmm, what this range needs is nubile young women in yoga pants,” while visiting my local range, I suddenly feel just that need. Ain’t capitalism grand? Here’s what 5.11 has to say about their new, revolutionary product:
Women’s Raven Range Capris offer the best blend of comfort and function ever made in a women’s range pant. Made from remarkable Ponte di Roma fabric, a durable stretch knit with a smooth, flattering finish, these capris feature a wide elastic waistband, belt loops, and abrasion-resistant panels for your belt and holster. The inseam allows superior movement and comfort. Everyday tactical wear you’ll truly wear every day.
- Perfect blend of traditional yoga pant and range apparel
- Belt loops and abrasion panels for your belt and holster
- Ideal for the range and casual wear
- Stretch Ponte di Roma fabric
- Elastic waistband
- Mid-calf length
- Abrasion panels
- Belt loops
- 19″ inseam
Odor Control technology
The yoga pants appear to be a bit pricey, or perhaps I’m just a stodgy old guy not up on contemporary women’s clothing prices. However, they do look, ahem, tactical. They are also obviously well designed. I think I’ll stick to BDUs, though. I need the pockets, and I don’t need to try on the yoga pants to know I’d look less than alluring in them.
The widespread proliferation of these little bits of apparel might require the posting of a new, additional rule at ranges:
Eyes off the yoga pants and on the sights and targets!
I, for one, welcome new innovations in the shooting fraternity, and if these yoga pants help ladies feel more comfy on the range, I’ll simply have to suffer for their benefit. I could make a few comments incorporating common firearm terminology and idioms, but this scruffy little blog is far too high class to go off half-cocked like that. You, gentle readers, will just have to do it in the comments.
The sacrifices I make to promote liberty.