This story is the virtual definition of “because they can”: 



More than 3,000 people have stripped naked and been painted blue to mark Hull’s City of Culture next year.

Hull City Council said the art project, named Sea of Hull, was the largest of its kind ever to be staged in the UK.

The work by renowned photographer Spencer Tunick involved 3,200 participants from 20 countries posing in front of various landmarks.

Commissioned by the Ferens Art Gallery, the images will be exhibited during 2017’s UK City of Culture events.



Remember, gentle readers, not only did someone–presumably Spencer Tunick–have to say: “I have it! I’ll get thousands of naked people, paint them blue, and take photos of them in various places!” He had to approach the city fathers and say: “I’m planning to get thousands of naked people, paint them blue, and take photos of them in various places around the city.” The city fathers–and perhaps, mothers–had to say–all in agreement–“Brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that?” And then, thousands of Britons had to say: “Let’s get naked, painted blue, and get our pictures taken in public!”

This, you see, is why I am not a visionary photographer. I would probably be satisfied with several nubile, naked women, paint optional, but that’s just me, average, female-appreciating, entirely normal male that I am.

Thousands of volunteers gathered just before dawn to be daubed with four shades of blue body paint, which represented water.

They posed at a number of locations across the city including Queen’s Gardens, the Guildhall and the Scale Lane swing bridge, for a photo shoot that lasted about four hours.

One of the participants included 80-year-old Stephane Janssen, from Brussels, who has posed for Tunick on 20 previous occasions.

‘It’s just aesthetically fantastic. It’s beautiful, we are little strokes of paint. Everybody is equal – no race nor sex difference – I mean, everybody is the same, naked…and that’s what I love,’ he said.



Uh, if no one can tell race or sex differences, the paint must have been applied with trowels. And I hate to be judgmental, but I’m afraid I don’t love the idea of everyone being the same, naked or not. That would be rather a boring world, wouldn’t it? Whatever happened to everyone being unique and special? How would campus social justice twerps survive in such a world? If everyone was blue and identical, how could anyone microaggress and how could anyone tell a safe space from a non-safe space?

Sarah Hossack, from Hull, said it was ‘absolutely fantastic’ to be part of the artwork.

‘I’ve been naked since four o’clock this morning. But it was so much fun, so inclusive and just brilliant, like a festival atmosphere. We’ve all got closer together as people over the last few hours.

It’s just fantastic and just what the city needs.

Hmm. Somehow, I suspect if I proposed this to my city fathers, there would be a distinct lack of enthusiasm, to say nothing of calls to the local police–they’re in blue–to check on my mental status. I’m relatively certain they wouldn’t label my idea “brilliant.” I seriously doubt they’d think it’s just what the city needs. More tax revenue, perhaps, but lots of blue, naked people hanging about? Naaaah.

In any case, gentle readers, if you have a compelling desire to see more blue naked people–I wonder what the scientific name of that sort of fetish is?–take the first link.

I wonder if it’s something in the fog over there?