The modern age imposes choices. During my college days, back in the 1400s, young people planning to attend college had two primary choices, after choosing a major, that is: be a serious student building a future and a life, or spend one’s college years serially awakening in unfamiliar surroundings in pools of one’s own and other’s vomit. College was demanding of time and effort. It was hard, and it was supposed to be, to focus the mind and prepare one to be a particularly productive member of society. Now, it seems, the choices have expanded to encompass a third: be a social justice warrior and totally lose one’s mind.

What are those young whippersnappers up to anyhow? Apparently trying to emulate the actions of adults, if those adults are neurotic, ill-adjusted, paranoid malcontents afraid of words. Consider this from the Brown Daily Herald, and gaze upon the future of America: 

Two weeks ago, the University released the final version of its diversity and inclusion action plan, which could not have been compiled without the exhaustive efforts of students throughout last semester.

‘There are people breaking down, dropping out of classes and failing classes because of the activism work they are taking on,’ said David, an undergraduate whose name has been changed to preserve anonymity. Throughout the year, he has worked to confront issues of racism and diversity on campus.

His role as a student activist has taken a toll on his mental, physical and emotional health. ‘My grades dropped dramatically. My health completely changed. I lost weight. I’m on antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills right now. (Counseling and Psychological Services) counselors called me. I had deans calling me to make sure I was okay,’ he said.

So. When one looks in the dictionary under “mega-weenie,” one finds a photo of David, “whose name has been changed to preserve anonymity.”  Perhaps I’m being too hard on poor David.  Perhaps fighting for political correctness, social justice, and the socialist way is more grueling than anyone previously imagined…nah.  I suppose one might take a little hope in the fact that even “David” recognizes he is an incredible weenie, and so, hides his identity, but such hope is transitory:


As students rallied to protest two racist columns published by The Herald and the alleged assault of a Latinx student from Dartmouth by a Department of Public Safety officer, David spent numerous hours organizing demonstrations with fellow activists. Meanwhile, he struggled to balance his classes, job and social life with the activism to which he feels so dedicated. Stressors and triggers flooded his life constantly, he said.

“Latinx”? Is that a crossing of a Hispanic and one of the X-Men? Oh well, it’s so hard to keep up with all the terminology, to say nothing of the diversity and racial healing.

David turned to CAPS and reached out to deans for notes that extended his deadlines for assignments. These were helpful, he said, but acted only as ‘bandages’ for the underlying causes of stress.

Justice Gaines ’16, who uses the pronouns xe, xem and xyr, said student activism efforts on campus are necessary. ‘I don’t feel okay with seeing students go through hardships without helping and organizing to make things better.

Uh…Deans–people responsible for academic integrity–are actually writing notes to excuse people like David from handing in assignments on time?!  We don’t even allow that in the high school where I teach. “Justice Gaines” can’t abide seeing students going through “hardships?” I seem to recall that college–to say nothing of graduate school–was full of hardships, such as paying for it all, working, getting all the assignments done, and upon rare occasion, eating and sleeping, sometimes simultaneously. Such things were considered features, not bugs. Where was Justice Gaines to rescue me then? Actually, I’m beginning to see the real problem, but let’s immerse ourselves in contemporary university culture for a bit longer.

In the wake of The Herald’s opinion pieces, Gaines felt overwhelmed by emotions flooding across campus. Students were called out of class into organizing meetings, and xe felt pressure to help xyr peers cope with what was going on, xe said. Gaines “had a panic attack and couldn’t go to class for several days.”

Deans’ notes helped Gaines to complete academic work while staying involved in student activism.

In writing such notes, deans acknowledge the difficulties faced by a student on campus and demonstrate their support for the student’s requests, said Ashley Ferranti, assistant dean of student support services.

Though it is ultimately up to a faculty member to accept a dean’s note, Ferranti estimated that notes are accepted over 90 percent of the time. Students who take issue with the rejection of a note can discuss the incident with a dean, Ferranti added.

While notes are helpful, they should be ‘more accessible’ and ‘more serious, so that professors will be more inclined to follow them,’ Gaines said.’

Some students very active in organizing and protesting end up in academic trouble, Ferranti said.

I wonder why that might be? Could it have to do with incredibly stupid individual choices? The article mentions a female student–or perhaps a Xe, Xem or Xyr?–who, instead of studying, was helping write a series of demands to present to the college administration. She demanded more time from a teacher to hand in an assignment, but in a rare instance of sanity, the teacher refused:

I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t slept. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally,’ she said. After hours of work to compile and present the demands, she forced herself to stay up to complete the project anyway.

‘This work is an ‘important part of the academic learning experience,’ Ferranti said. She was present at the Brown/RISD Hillel-sponsored lecture that was protested by Students for Justice in Palestine earlier this semester, offering academic and emotional support for the protestors.

Uh, ignoring actual academic work in favor of Progressive rabble rousing is an “important part of the academic learning experience?” I’m really starting to zero in on the problem here…

Such sensitivity to ignoring the legitimate reasons for the existence of universities is not limited to people who use non-existent pronouns, or to one such ivy covered, beer soaked campus. Consider this report–no, it’s not a parody; really–from The Daily Targum at Rutgers:

We are here to show support,’ was repeated by nearly every person in the crowd as they introduced themselves at a forum to discuss Milo Yiannopoulos’s visit to Rutgers last week.

Yiannopoulos is the Tech Editor for Brietbart.

Students and faculty gathered in the Paul Robeson Cultural Center on Busch campus to generate dialogue about Yiannopoulos’s visit and the protest that occurred during his lecture. A variety of different organizations and departments were present to listen, answer questions and show support.

Uh, show support for what? But first let’s list all the players:

Representatives from the Rutgers University Police Department, the Office of Violence Prevention and Victim Assistance, Counseling, Alcohol and other Drug Assistance Program and Psychiatric Services and the Bias Prevention and Education Committee were present.

Members from the Black Student Union, the Asian American Cultural Center, Center for Latino Arts and Culture, College Student Affairs and many more were also in attendance.

Students and community members participated by sharing their personal experiences from the event and by looking for resolutions. Questions regarding the legal aspects of holding a protest and what actions the administration would take were asked.

Screen Shot 2016-02-21 at 6.08.42 PM

“What actions the administration would take?” Yiannopoulos gave a speech. A goodly number of students made asses of themselves.  So the university has to hold a support session?

Students described feeling scared, hurt and discriminated against following Yiannopoulos’s visit.

Melissa James, a School of Arts and Sciences junior, said she had trouble even getting into the building during the night of the event. They were only letting certain people in, she said. She said the security at the door would not let her in based off of her appearance.

‘If you’re promoting free speech, you should allow people (with) different opinions to come into the debate,’ James said.

But James said this was not a debate, it was discrimination and it was not free speech, but hate speech.

‘I am for debates and understanding other sides to different issues, but off the bat there was discrimination, not only from the organization but other students,’ she said.

Well of course. Can’t have a debate with opposing views. That’s hate speech. And James is not the only student suffering under the oppressive atmosphere of a college that allows people with opposing views to actually express them:

After hearing Yiannopoulos’s speech, Jasmine Dennis, a School of Arts and Sciences sophomore, said she also felt frustrated by what was said.

‘I felt my identity was getting shot at by what he was saying and by what other people were saying,’ she said.

So now words are firearms? Oh, but there is more:

What was frustrating for Dennis was not just Yiannopoulos and his responses, but the responses coming from her classmates.

James was scared to walk around campus the next day. Many others agreed and said they felt unsafe at the event and around campus afterward.

She believes the administration has not done enough, and that University Chancellor Richard L. Edwards’s email did not address the issue.

‘It is upsetting that my mental health is not cared about by the University,’ James said. ‘I do not know what else to do for us to be heard for us to be cared about. I deserve an apology, everyone in this room deserves an apology.

James probably doesn’t really want the University to be concerned with her mental health. In a real institution of higher learning, she’d likely be heavily sedated and wearing one of those nice, heavy, white canvas, I love me, jackets that are all the rage with insane young people these days.

I nearly have it, but before I solve innumerable problems in higher education, consider this from Barnard College student Courtney Couillard:

During the most recent Columbia College Student Council meeting, President Ben Makansi announced that he would reach out to Vice President of Campus Services Scott Wright about providing free tampons to students. The Engineering Student Council quickly followed by announcing they were in partnership with CCSC and also speaking with Wright regarding free tampon distribution.

While this may seem like a peculiar addition to the average student council meeting, that these requests needed to be made indicates the University’s utter lack of support for people who menstruate—a group that includes a significant portion of the student body. Sure, I can easily find a free condom on Barnard and Columbia’s campuses, but why can’t I find a free tampon in the bathrooms in Hamilton or Milbank? Why does the administration care about my sexual protective rights, but not how I handle my monthly menstrual cycle?

Um, could that be because there is a fundamental difference in the purpose of condoms and tampons, and the consequences of failing to use them? Students enrolled in expensive colleges don’t get this?

"Free the Nipple" protest

“Free the Nipple” protest

Limited access to free sanitary products, along with the widely recognized ‘tampon tax,’ is a frequently recurring topic in popular discourse regarding reproductive rights. While California may have pioneered potentially eliminating the tampon tax at the state level, many people who menstruate still lack the sufficient financial resources to frequently purchase sanitary products. And even if the sales tax is removed from these products, we must still front the cost to pay for other menstruation-related items, such as pads, DivaCups, painkillers, and birth control.

“Many people who menstruate?” Isn’t that pretty much limited to women, or can men now “identify” with menstruation, and if so, does that require that they simultaneously identify with women, or merely with tampons? How does one dress the part? Never mind. I don’t want to know how they’d practice their identification.

This next paragraph crosses boldly into “more information than I really needed, thank you,” territory:

If you were to go to Duane Reade and buy a box of 36 tampons, it would cost you roughly $8. Depending on the heaviness of your menstrual flow, you could potentially end up going through one box (or even more) during your cycle. Assuming a single cycle requires one box of tampons, a person could end up spending $96 a year. And this price only holds if you assume all people just use tampons—most people will end up spending far more on other period products.

To be sure, many students can comfortably afford the supplies needed to maintain a hygienic period. Unfortunately, considering the rise in conversation about low-income students on campus and the inability to afford the Columbia lifestyle, it is evident that some students cannot afford this necessary cost. This can lead to unhygienic periods, and even free-bleeding. Without University support, many students’ typical menstrual cycle can quickly become unmanageable [emphasis mine].

She is writing this, presumably, with a straight face, and, hopefully, with a hygienic period and without “free-bleeding.”

If you have the heart–and stomach–take the link and read the rest.

Apparently, this free tampon movement (Oooo. There’s a disquieting image) has spread nationwide. Consider this from MRCtv: 

Last week, University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) student Zoey Freedman penned an article in her school newspaper arguing in favor of ‘free’ tampons. After Freedman’s article got her entire publication deemed a ‘national laughingstock,’ Freedman is defending herself against critics by claiming they are only attacking her because she’s a woman.

See? Hillary was right! There is a war on women, and the battlefield is right between women’s…um…I think I’ll stop now…

Dildo protest organized to protest concealed carry at the University of Texas at Austin

Dildo protest organized to protest concealed carry at the University of Texas at Austin

What most worries me is that these hypersensitive, perpetually aggrieved, narcissistic, intolerant (I’d better stop before I get a bit nasty, not that I’d ever run out of adjectives) milquetoasts may not be unemployable after they spend 7-10 years at a $60,000 a year therapy center getting a bachelor’s in “Diversity Studies,” or “Nonexistent Pronoun Studies,” or “Intercultural Initiatives in Student Affairs Studies, or “Free Tampon Studies.” There may actually be employers out there that think such people prime employee material. It’s rather hard to imagine what a company that would hire such people would produce, or how they could survive in the marketplace, but hey, it’s a brave new world.

But in the real world, the world where reliability, the ability to sublimate one’s desires to achieve worthy goals, the ability to speak to others and hear their opinions without losing one’s sanity, the ability to make rational, non-self-destructive choices, the ability to consider the feelings of others, the ability to differentiate between real and imagined dangers, essentially, the ability to recognize and live in reality, such delicate, frenzied and fearful flowers are going to become eternal wards of the state. But why not? If they do, everything government provides is free, isn’t it?

If women are rendered non functional and unclean if a university won’t buy their tampons and similar products, how are they going to survive if the government doesn’t meet all of their other needs? Imagine all those women with unmanageable menstrual cycles running around. I mean, do they reach critical mass and explode? Is there a warning siren or something? Universities are already therapy centers. How will they handle all the exploding women, and other exploding people who menstruate, or do they just identify with exploding?

What’s the ultimate problem in higher education? A complete lack of adult supervision. To be sure, there are other problems such as the people in charge of universities having no idea what the purpose of universities is. Another obvious problem is large numbers of parents who never exercised adult supervision over their precious offspring, yet have the wherewithal to spend more than the yearly income of many families to send their little twerps off to ignore their studies, and become neurotic and fearful because there was a speech on campus a week ago.

On the other hand, if I had a kid like that, I’d probably pay just about anything to get them out of the house and out of state. Maybe the universities are providing a worthwhile social service by keeping all the mega-weenies corralled at Universities. See? There’s always a silver lining if you look hard enough. Just so long as you avoid exploding women–and other people.