syn__0022_roxanneThere is a delightful scene in “Roxanne,” Steve Martin’s remake of “Cyrano de Bergerac.” A very young and slim Daryl Hannah has been locked out of her home by her cat, and naked, she makes her way to the fire station for help. Hiding in the bushes, she tells Martin what has happened and that she’s nude. One of Martin’s firefighters offers to go along to help, but he replies: “Nah. Looks pretty boring. I’ll handle it.”

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If you’ve never seen Cyrano, the 1950 movie version for which Jose Ferrer won a well-deserved Academy Award, you owe yourself the pleasure. It’s $14.99 at the link. Back then, Academy Awards actually meant something, but then again, so did Nobel Prizes. Having seen that, you’ll better appreciate the genius of Roxanne, which is only $7.99 at the link. Roxanne is absolutely wonderful on its own, but why deny yourself the pleasure of both for about as much as a movie ticket?

What does that have to do with Italians, fire fighters and sort of naked women? Fox News has the story: 

credit: albertopizolli

credit: albertopizolli

An Italian woman placed an embarrassing call to her local fire department after losing the key to her iron chastity belt, The Telegraph reports.

The woman, whose identity has not been released according to Italian law, contacted the Padua fire station last Wednesday, saying she needed help opening a padlock.

Firefighters initially thought she was locked out of her home, and began asking her where she lived, the media outlet adds.

To their surprise, the woman then pulled up her jumper to reveal the chastity belt, explaining she’d misplaced the critical key, according to the Telegraph.

credit: sspl

credit: sspl

The firefighters managed to break the iron lock before opening an investigation into whether the woman had been forced to wear the belt by someone else as an act of domestic violence, local newspaper Il Mattino di Padova reports, the Telegraph adds.

The woman explained she had voluntarily chosen to don the belt in order to prevent herself from entering into a sexual relationship.

As I recall, the medieval era was notorious for a lack of cleanliness and an equally disturbing dearth of disease control. One can only imagine how wearing a chastity belt for anything other than, should we say, temporary “historical research,” would contribute to a return to those unlovely times.

Eyow.

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