Jessica Jin: Future Dildo Dangler
credit: sydneymorningherald
Sometimes what initially seems clever just turns out to be really silly, as in this story from The Sydney Morning Herald:
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?” In the US, it’s probably a gun – but at the University of Texas in Austin, students who don’t like weapons are planning a protest that is truly below-the-belt.
From August next year, a new law will allow Texas students to carry concealed handguns in classrooms, dormitories and other college buildings, as long as they hold the appropriate gun license. The measure, known as the “campus carry law,” was passed earlier this year.
By contrast, students who bring sex toys onto campus run the risk of being reprimanded for obscenity under the Texas Penal Code and the university’s rules.
So, on the first day of class next August, thousands of students will arm themselves with plastic penises to demonstrate their displeasure with the new laws.
Well then. This is obviously an extension (get it?) of the common Texas practice of hanging testicles from the rear bumper of pickup trucks. I’ve often wondered about that one. Can’t you just imagine auto accessory executives brainstorming in a boardroom somewhere? What possess one of them to suddenly leap up and exclaim: I’ve got it! We’ll make plastic testicles to hang on the back of pickup trucks!” “Brilliant” another ejaculates. “In colors,” spurts another.
We are strapping gigantic swinging dildos to our backpacks in protest of campus carry,’ wrote student Jessica Jin, who created the Facebook event ‘Campus DILDO Carry’.
‘Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play.
I could, of course make a variety of jokes about not going off half-cocked, about rising to the occasion, about shooting one’s wad on a futile gesture, etc., but this scruffy little blog is far too classy for that sort of thing (heh, heh, heh).
credit: urko dorronsoro sagasti/flickr
On Monday the proposed protest spread rapidly around the internet, with more than 2000 people vowing to attend. The spirit of the event was succinctly captured in the hashtag #CocksNotGlocks, which became the subject of much discussion on Twitter.
The campus carry law in Texas will allow students to carry concealed handguns inside buildings, including in the classroom. The final version of the law allowed private colleges to opt out and gave universities the right to declare certain zones as ‘gun-free’. [skip]
Last week, a professor at the same university announced he would withdraw from the college due to the looming campus carry law, and instead spend a semester teaching at the University of Sydney.
In a letter to the university’s president, economics professor emeritus Daniel S. Hamermesh said he felt the law would endanger his safety on campus.
‘With a huge group of students, my perception is that the risk that a disgruntled student might bring a gun into the classroom and start shooting at me has been substantially enhanced by the concealed-carry law,’ he wrote. ‘Out of self-protection I have chosen to spend part of next Fall [autumn] at the University of Sydney, where, among other things, this risk seems lower.
I recently wrote about Prof. Hamermesh’s fear of the law-abiding and inanimate objects. And speaking of inanimate objects, I get Jin’s point (get it), and the thrust (snicker) of her general argument, but the argument that a firearm would be no more effective than a dildo in stopping an attack in a school puts me in a state of logical dysfunction (LD), for which there is no Viagra equivalent. That being the case, why not signs proclaiming “No Dildo” zones? They’d certainly be more amusing and might momentarily confuse a potential shooter. I’d also like to know the name of a single student ever punished by the university or arrested and prosecuted for the possession and/or use of a sex toy on campus. I strongly suspect that this is a violation of the penile code (heheheheheheheeeee!) that is never enforced.
In any case, I’m looking forward to August in Austin when lissome young women affix colorful dildos to their backpacks and get the college mating season off to a bang. The photos should be grand. Perhaps a new song for the occasion? “Love is a many dildoed thing…”
I’m soooo ashamed of myself—heheheheheeeee!
I think we should take this kind of (spreading) phenomenon more seriously. Because: the anti-gun minority is “taking over public discourse” and re-arranging the perception of gun owners and especially those licensed to carry concealed. Making fun of these neurotics isn’t quite enough. We have to boldly discredit them and put them back in their historical position as the real outsiders.
And we shouldn’t worry too much about being proven wrong because “gun owners are not in the mainstream.” We should instead support in all ways possible things like the Outdoor Channel’s programming which, one day a week, features hours of gun-related content.
Right now in Michigan, State Senator Rebekah Warren (Ann Arbor, MI) has submitted a bill expanding “gun free zones” to include such places as libraries. As a concealed carry licensee, I can assure those who are not that gun free zones interfere materially with “just getting around town.” There’s also an on-going battle over the exact wording of the current law regarding gun free zones on school and university properties. University of Michigan and Ann Arbor Public Schools are two of the “active agents” in this further elimination of the right to keep and bear arms.
We CANNOT claim that the 2nd Amendment cannot be infringed BECAUSE THEY’RE DOING IT and getting away with it.
We have to have each others’ backs on this. It’s not funny at all.
Dear 1706-1790:
Oh, I do indeed take Second Amendment issues seriously. We can, however, simultaneously, engage in a bit of good natured mockery of those that would not only give up their liberties, but ours as well. That’s one trick conservatives can learn from Progressives, who are very good at using mockery as a political weapon. The primary difference is that they usually have to lie to do it. We need only tell the truth to expose Progressives to mockery, as in this case.
The quip that the dildos would be “just about as effective for protecting us” is a reiteration of the Progressive mantra that guns are useless for self-defense, that you would just end up shooting yourself by accident or shooting some harmless panhandler whom you mistook for a mugger, yadda yadda yadda. Better to depend on “gun-free zone” signs for protection.
Never mind that (1) every mass shooting spree in the past fifty years took place in a designated gun-free zone, and (2) every one of them ended when it met with armed resistance, whether from police or from armed citizens.
“Never mind that (1) every mass shooting spree in the past fifty years took place in a designated gun-free zone, and (2) every one of them ended when it met with armed resistance, whether from police or from armed citizens.” And what does that mean, exactly? It means: those who have created and continue to promote and expand gun free zones are directly responsible for ensuring success of mass murderers.
Let me repeat: those who have created and continue to promote and expand gun free zones are directly responsible for ensuring success of mass murderers!
As such, we must continually hold them responsible. That means individually and collectively. Basically: that means every Democrat and Democrat supporter in the United States – OUR country.
You and I are on the same team. In the same way that sports team members and combat unit members and police department members are on the same team.
Thank you for posting. I support what you have said. Keep it up – please.
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