Isn’t “the conventional wisdom” wonderful? No, no–not that “conventional wisdom.” That’s what the common folk would call “common sense.” I mean the considered opinion of the self-imagined elite, usually denizens of the Washington DC Beltway, or perhaps NYC or LA or thereabouts. Surely no flyover country bumpkins, those pathetic little people that lead meaningless, drab, unenlightened little lives out there, somewhere beyond the boundaries of civilization. People like that actually shop at WalMart or eat at McDonalds! Terrifying!
The conventional wisdom to which I refer is the current conceit that the next American president must be a woman, and according to Democrat party sources, Hillary Clinton qualifies as a woman, and is therefore the inevitable next president. After all, Hillary Clinton herself has said “isn’t it about time a woman was president of the United States of America?” True, she said it in a stiff, robotic, way, her arms and head strangely moving like a 1960’s Disney audioanimatronic robot, her voice inflecting the wrong syllables, her face wrenched into a bizarre, slightly off-kilter, yet sinister grin, but she said it, so it must be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And why not? She’s highly qualified, because she was First Lady, and first ladies—judging by her performance—hate the military with a passion, are brutally rude to White House staff and just about everyone else, ignore the law, hide documents, attack women mistreated by her husband, and in general accomplish nothing whatever. Oh. Well, maybe those aren’t such great accomplishments after all, but she ran for president once and was dropped like a hot potato when the Democrat establishment decided it was about time for an almost unknown black guy to be president of the United State of America, and Barack Obama was handy. Uh, I guess that’s not really much of a recommendation either.
OK, OK. I know! She was Secretary of State under that black guy whose turn to be president came around. As Secretary of State, she had many important accomplishments, many of which were accomplished—and important. She’s even talked about many–er, one–of them, like traveling a million miles, or maybe a billion miles. OK. So flying a lot at taxpayer expense really isn’t an accomplishment, and not even Hillary Clinton can actually come up with anything she actually, you know, accomplished as Secretary of State, other than getting four Americans killed at Benghazi and lying about it afterward. I guess that kind of “smart diplomacy” counts as a perverse kind of accomplishment.
Come to think about it, Hillary Clinton’s accomplishments all seem to revolve around lying, exposing all of her e-mails to foreign intelligence services, violating the law and the rules of honorable, ethical conduct that apply to every other human being, and covering up her corruption, most recently by destroying the evidence, something at which she and her official spokesliars have substantial experience.
Hey! That’s it! After Barack Obama, qualifications for the presidency consist primary of lying, hating and betraying America and enriching oneself at the expense of liberty, decency and western civilization, and Hillary Clinton is uniquely qualified, and recently practiced, at all of that!
There is a problem, however. More than six years ago, it was “about time” for a black guy to be president, and that one is going to last eight years while so improving race relations—ooops; that didn’t work out so well—that they’ll be, like, really improved if “improved” is defined as “set back at least a half-century.” And if it’s about time for a woman president who will improve gender relations, there go another eight years and men and women will soon be shooting each other on sight.
After that, what’s next? Will it be “about time” for a black woman president who will further improve race relations and gender relations, or a Hispanic president who will improve immigrant relations, or a “white-Hispanic” president who will improve relations between races made up by the media, or an Indian president who will improve relations between white female college professors with faux-high cheekbones and actual Indians, or a lesbian president, or a gay president who will improve relations between lesbians and gays and cake bakers, or a Muslim president, or a transgender, Muslim, black/white-Hispanic illegal immigrant—er, undocumented, I mean undocumented—president who will just cut everyone’s heads off? And who decides whose—or what’s—turn is next? By the time we exhaust all the presidential slots for deserving something-or-others and fill in all the blanks for who deserves to be president because they’re not a white guy, it should be about 2370 and the national debt will be incalculable. I mean actually incalculable. Actually, considering that we’ll be anointing presidents who have no actual abilities, we’ll probably all be pretty much headless long before then, and Barack Obama’s hope for hearing the most beautiful sound in the world, the Muslim call to prayer, will, at long last, be realized and universal, or you’ll get your head cut off.
I have no doubt that a woman will eventually be president, just as I once had no doubt women would pilot helicopters and jets in combat, but I’m awfully glad that didn’t happen until there were female pilots that were actually qualified to fly military aircraft. Actually, we don’t even allow people, male or female, to teach kindergarten until they can prove they’re qualified. Perhaps we ought to be a bit more concerned about a potential president’s qualifications, and their fidelity to the Constitution and to America than their race, gender, or politically correct biography? Electing someone that didn’t hate America and Americans and all of our allies would be nice too.
But hey, it’s about time for a woman to be president of the United States and Hillary Clinton is a woman. I’d hate to think of the kind of guy that would wear those pantsuits.