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Well, yeah.  I'm pretty sure this is the way all the Indians used to dress...

Well, yeah. I’m pretty sure this is the way all the Indians used to dress…

When I was knee deep in writing about the Trayvon Martin case, I discovered, through the helpful comment of a reader, that I was a racist. This had, until that moment, entirely escaped my notice. It escaped the notice of my faithful readers as well, but that’s beside the point. Now I discover, through the helpful intervention of one Kiera Butler writing at Mother Jones, that not only am I a racist, so were my parents, and so are most of you, you gentle, racist readers. Care to discover why? Read on.

Stop hating Native Americans! A senior editor at Mother Jones wants you to know that you should stop eating three meals a day for reasons including the fact that it is ‘racist.’

Yes — she (or her editor) actually uses the word ‘racist:’

‘Dogmatic adherence to mealtimes is anti-science, racist, and might actually be making you sick,’ proclaims the subhead to Kiera Butler’s Wednesday article, titled, ‘Why You Should Stop Eating Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.

Uh…but if I stop eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, won’t I sort of, you know, die?

Here is her reasoning: When the Europeans came over to the United States, they ate three meals a day whereas the Native Americans ate in a less restricted fashion — a practice which Butler claims the Europeans considered to be unrefined.

Ruh-roh Shaggy! Do you detect the fundamental errors of history and logic inherent in this “reasoning?” Didn’t the “Native Americans” live a hunter-gatherer existence where one ate what one could when one could, and often had little or nothing to eat? Isn’t that in large part why they lived a more or less nomadic existence? They had to go where the food was? Hmm. Could this be a reason they didn’t eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at prescribed times? Hey, as I recall, they didn’t have clocks either…

Butler offered excerpts of an e-mail interview with Abigail Carroll, author of the book Three Squares: The Invention of the American Meal, as proof of this point.

‘The eating schedule of the native tribes was less rigid. . . . The Europeans took this as ‘evidence that natives were uncivilized,’ Carroll explained to me in an email,’ Butler wrote.

What a kidder that Butler is! “The eating schedule of the native tribes was less rigid.” Heh-heh.

She said that Carroll told her that the Europeans believed that ‘civilized people ate properly and boundaried their eating, thus differentiating themselves from the animal kingdom, where grazing is the norm.

OK, but I’m still not getting why I’m racist. Katherine Timpf at National Review helpfully explains:

So, basically — if you organize your eating around breakfast, lunch and dinner, you are perpetuating the racist belief that Native Americans are savage animals. Shame on you!

OK, but I’m still not sure why understanding history and drawing logical conclusions from history makes me a racist, but then again, I am a white male, so I was pretty much a racist in the womb. Somehow I suspect that if I forego breakfast, lunch or dinner, some people would still think me a racist. I have to stop now. I just heard there are some buffalo nearby and some of the braves and I have to see about shooting one full of arrows.  Maybe it’ll impress the girl in the picture… Hey, Three Volvos Running, wait up!