There are legends that resonate in the public consciousness. They speak to us from the depths of time, for they are as ancient as the Earth, ancient as time. Perhaps these archetypes so affect us because they are a part of us, of our very DNA. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, Hercules, Beowolf, Thor, they embody not only what we are, but what we strive to be. They are the best in us, the most vital, the most energetic, and the most noble. Their sacrifice shows us the way, inspires us, and teaches us the meaning of altruism. Such “young invincibles” are truly timeless.
Yes, gentle readers, from the mists of time, brought to us by the Obama Administration and his political/organizing organ–Organizing For Action–is a new archetype, a hero for a new age: ONESIE MAN!
So beloved is he, he is already known by the affectionate “Pajama Boy.” Can there be a more representative symbol of what our Progressive Saviour believes us to be? Can we possibly aspire to greater heights of plaid clad, smug mug cuddling, bemused, bespectacled, becurled metrosexuality?
Gentle readers, fellow Obamacans, this is our brave, new future. This is the pinnacle of American manly achievement. So get talking, and get a red plaid onesie, with integral feet, of course, because what red-blooded woman can resist that look?
As a public service, I present a somewhat different, alternate vision:
I report, you decide.