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Obama tiresWhen running for his first term in 2008, Barack Obama told the American people how to solve our energy problems without drilling for oil: fully inflate car tires and get regular tune ups.  Nonsense on stilts, but revealing of Mr. Obama’s cluelessness, then and now, of the realities of America’s energy use and production needs.

And in 2013, First Lady Michelle Obama is also belaboring the obvious, and USA Today at least partially considers it a virtue:  

credit: Eric Thayer/Reuters

credit: Eric Thayer/Reuters

A sign of our divided times: Even a first lady project encouraging people to drink more water is drawing criticism.

Michelle Obama traveled Thursday to Watertown, Wis. — naturally — to promote a new program by her Partnership for a Healthier America to encourage people to drink more water.

‘Drink just one more glass of water a day and you can make a real difference for your health, your energy, and the way you feel,’ Obama said. ‘So Drink Up and see for yourself.

Mirable dictu (wonderful to tell)!  Who woulda thunk it?!  One more glass of water will improve my health, make me more energetic, and improve “the way I feel?”  Why, might it even replace Viagra?  The potential benefits for world peace erect steadfast, towering images of possibility!  Could this be true?  Politico deflates Mrs. Obama’s watery pronouncement: 

There really isn’t data to support this,’ said Dr. Stanley Goldfarb of the University of Pennsylvania. ‘I think, unfortunately, frankly, they’re not basing this on really hard science. It’s not a very scientific approach they’ve taken. … To make it a major public health effort, I think I would say it’s bizarre.’

Goldfarb, a kidney specialist, took particular issue with White House claims that drinking more water would boost energy.

‘The idea drinking water increases energy, the word I’ve used to describe it is: quixotic,’ he said. ‘We’re designed to drink when we’re thirsty. … There’s no need to have more than that.

Take the link to the Politico article to see a few comments from scientists slightly more favorable–but far less scientifically defensible–to Mrs. Obama’s newest public health brainstorm.  However, the reality remains that her suggestion is ultimately in the same effectiveness league as tire inflation and tuneups.  Which of course means the government will be spending millions of taxpayer dollars to promote it:

In announcing Michelle Obama’s “Drink Up” program, the White House said:

‘To remind families of the importance of drinking water, supporters of PHA’s effort will carry the Drink Up logo on nearly 300 million packs of bottled water; more than half a billion bottles of water; 200,000 packages of reusable bottles; and more than 10,000 reusable bottles in the next year.

Additionally, more than 10,000 outdoor public taps are expected to carry the brand over the next few years. Cities will also be utilizing the logo to encourage people to drink more tap water.

And hosts on a dozen TV shows are participating in an around-the-clock, cross-network, bilingual day of drinking water and encouraging their audience to Drink Up.

credit: nationalgeographic

credit: nationalgeographic

Now we’re branding tap water and “outdoor public taps.”  That’ll encourage people to drink water, which without the urging of the First Lady no one would ever think of doing.  Imagine the advertising slogans:

“Water: It’s not just for toilet bowls!”

“Don’t hate me because I drink an extra glass of water every day” (purred by a slinky model).

“Water: the new white meat!”

“I don’t always drink water, but when I do, I drink 100% federal government branded Obamawater” (the most interesting man in the world).

“If you like it, you’ll be able to keep your own tap water!”

“Water:  Drink Up!  The NSA is watching!”

I await Mrs. Obama’s future campaigns to encourage sleep, yawning, scratching when it itches, having a good bowel movement at least once a day, voluntarily using toilet paper, bathing now and then, wearing clothing in public, sex, and refraining from brushing one’s teeth with battery acid, with breathless anticipation.

And who said the Obama Administration never did anything to America?  Hey, maybe I can get a multi million dollar grant for wind and solar water?  Drink Up!